Welcoming a New Sibling
Welcoming a new baby into the family is an exciting time. It can also be a difficult transition for older children. Parents shall try to make the kids’ transition to big brother or big sister easier.
During pregnancy, mothers may read books to the young kids at home about babies, birth, and being an older sibling. The kids may also be involved in choosing a name or in preparing for the baby’s needs. Or, the little ones may be taken along to pre-natal sessions and be allowed to hear the baby’s heartbeat, and see ultrasound photos.
Once the new baby is home, the followings ideas will help:
1. Involve the older kids in the care of the baby, as much as possible. Rather than making them wait on the sidelines while you care for baby, which is likely to foster feelings of resentment, enlist their help.
2. Be sure to tell the older kids how much they are still valued. Be specific in your praise and encouragement. “You mean the world to me. I’m so glad the baby has you for a big sister! She’ll learn all about being kind and helpful from her wonderful big sister.”
3. Let the older kids overhear you telling the baby what a special big brother he has and how you hope she grows up to be a lot like big sister. Anytime children hear their parents bragging on them to others, it boosts their self-esteem and creates feelings of belonging and acceptance.
4. Realize that regression is normal and won’t last forever. Some children may start to act more like a baby again. It’s best to avoid criticizing this behavior and just provide love and acceptance. Once her emotions level out, they’ll act like themselves again.
5. Don’t overreact to acting out. Provide empathy and loving kindness. Set boundaries where necessary, and make them clear, fair, and consistent. For example, you obviously can’t let the older child act out his frustrations on the baby by hitting or being aggressive, but if you make it all about keeping the baby safe and not about what your older child is feeling, negative feelings are likely to increase.
6. Prepare activities your older kids can do alone while you nurse or otherwise tend to the baby in ways they can’t help you. Quiet books, busy bags, felt boards, and sensory play are good at keeping young children entertained, and there are plenty of ideas for them all over the internet.
7. Stay connected to your older child by ensuring some one-on-one time with him or her as well.
Try not to be discouraged if your older kids don’t accept the new addition right away. Some children need more time to adapt. Keep the faith in your older kids, stay positive, and stay connected. There’s always enough love to go around.