You Only Lose what You Cling To

In life, if ever there is one suffering that may suffocate us, it’s on the things that we cling to. Like when a relationship goes awry and you can’t move on, the more you suffer. Running after a relationship, especially when the other party is no longer interested, is a losing battle. The more you run after it, the more difficult for you to catch the flame of love again. Or, if a friendship goes sour because of an issue that you both cannot settle and the other person cannot forgive you, then clinging to it hoping it can be patched up someday is a torment to your soul. Let it go and let it be, so that you’ll not suffer anymore.

Hence, Steve Waller of www.alwayswellwithin.com website writes, “The more you cling to things, the more you fuel your own suffering.” Walter is of the notion that there are things in life that we cling to that cause us to suffer. These things are the things that block our inner peace:

• Life. When you grip life too tightly, you stifle and restrict it. Yes, keep active, eat healthily, avoid negative habits and addictions – do things that keep your body and mind working as best as they can, but don’t resist the passing of time and the inevitability of your physical death.

If you fear death, you fear life. You become gripped by anxiety, worry, and despair. Faced with the prospect of your flame one day burning out. Ask yourself, “Am I living a worthwhile life?”

• Permanence. Like life, everything must come to an end. If you cling to the belief that what you have now will last forever, you are destined to suffer repeated heartache. Everything you base your life around is but a fleeting ripple in the ultimate reality. Things come and things go, and the best you can do is to accept this impermanence.

• The Past. Yesterday is gone, never to return. Don’t mourn its passing and wish yourself back there because no genie can ever grant such a wish. Know that it was glorious and be thankful that it happened. Say goodbye to regret, remorse, and guilt; they will not serve you in the present or the future.

• People. So much of our lives are defined by the people around us: the ways we interact and communicate with one another, the feelings we have for each other, and the thoughts about them that swirl around in our head. People are important, yes, but our attachment to them can be detrimental to our wellbeing. The risk is that we define ourselves through the people in our lives; we make them a part of us, a piece of our puzzle.

They say, “If you love someone, let them go.” And these are wise words indeed. It doesn’t mean they cannot be a part of your life; it means that you should be prepared for a time when they are not. It means that you should let go of your dependency on them to make you feel complete.

Inspirational author Mitch Albom has written: “Don’t cling to things because everything is impermanent.”