Yes Bai, There’s Worst Feng Shui!

Just like a feasibility study, remember what is taught in SGV management training in the 70s: It’s just a study and it can have an infeasible conclusion.

Tapos ang piyesta! (The feast is over!) So as with Feng Shui, not all consultations turn out pleasing to the ears of the client.

Here are case studies to learn from:

• A glorious mansion in Dasmariñas Village Makati. We park alongside and the client asks, “Is this property good Feng Shui for me?”

“Wait,” I replied as I checked my compass. “Oh. it’s east. It’s total loss direction for you. You can even die or have total loss of life.” Case dismissed, no buy!

• Another case, a corner lot property in a village shaped sharply like a pizza slice. “What do you think?” the client asks.

“No remedy,” I said, “it speaks of endless sex scandals! Example, look at that broadcast network lot in the North!” Case closed: no buy.

• Another similar one corner lot but, no malice, shaped like an uncircumcised penis! “What is your reading,” the wife asks. Husband protests! Wife insists for me to tell it as it is!

So I said, “Sex scandals.” Husband appeals, “Is there no remedy?”

The wife interjected, “Aldric, what’s best to do? Frankly I caught him already.”

I said, “The remedy is to circumcise the lot – but it is best if sold.” Verdict: Sold and they lived happily and prosperously ever after until now!

Susan Roces: “Aldric, may pinakamalas bang tao? (Is there a truly unfortunate person?)”

My reply: “Yes ma’am, if the property owned is especially a burial place of a mother or father with a comfort room on top of it then life, pardon my language, ma’am, will be full of shit for the descendants!” That’s would be a nice Feng Shui movie to make!

Maam Susan nodded understandingly and was all smiles.

So there, never buy or build on a property that has history of passion killing, murder, ghosts, hauntings, rape, and even fire – or where the former owner died after suffering from a sickness.

In buying or renting property, it pays to be “tsismosa” or a gossiper!

Of course, it’s a no-brainer if someone sells you the Rizal Park or Luneta or wants to buy your hotel or building claiming he is son of a Taipan!

Due diligence, legally and practically, is advised with Feng Shui. Who knows if you can truly buy Malacañang? Your laugh is as loud as mine, no worries!