When Expectations Are Not Met
One of life’s exasperating realities are situations wherein expectations aren’t met – particularly when gestures of kindness and generosity are involved. It is, after all, natural for people to expect acts of love, kindness and generosity to be reciprocated, especially when these involve family.
I believe, however, that though it is natural to feel downhearted when one’s expectations aren’t met, the worldview that fuels it is a misguided one – one that’s mostly based on the saying “What we sow is what we reap; what goes around, comes around”.
I have learned that there is power in actually not expecting anything in return for whatever you do for anyone in whatever case or situation. Expecting something from someone in return for something that you do for them might just ruin your day, and could even make you question why you helped that someone in the first place.
You’ll end up feeling like you sowed seeds on rocky terrain, where what you plant just won’t grow. There’s a saying that goes: “If you expect others to return your kindness and generosity, that is not kindness but business”.
The wisdom of this saying is what strengthens my resolve to be kind and generous without expecting anything in return.
Lolly Daskal of inc.com and the justhindi website jots down the following pointers on the matter:
* Don’t expect people to agree with you every time you speak
If you’re type of person who wants people to agree with everything you say every time you speak, be ready to experience a lot of disappointments.
Most people have their own thoughts and opinions. Do what you can to persuade them with data, research, and facts, but assume they will, or should always agree.
* Don’t expect others to respect you when you don’t respect yourself
Respect starts from within, so if you wish to be respected, you have to do what it takes to respect yourself – that is, live in a way that demonstrates self-respect.
* Be prepared for rejection or setbacks
These are common occurrences in life and there’s no shame in admitting rejection or setbacks. Blaming yourself won’t solve anything and will only lead to needless disappointment.
* We should not expect anything from anyone When we expect something from someone, it will always hurt. When the person fails to live up to our expectation, we end up feeling disappointed, frustrated and angry – all of which can negatively affect our overall happiness. So why should we ever expect anything from anyone?
It is therefore necessary to drop our expectations. Why? The website hindi.in has the following answers:
* You’ll be more content with what you have instead of always looking for something better.
* You’ll be less likely to get frustrated or angry with people or situations.
* You’ll enjoy your experiences more because you won’t be focusing on what’s missing.
* You’ll less likely to stress out over things that don’t matter.
* You’ll have more gratitude for what you do have since you won’t be dwelling on all the things you don’t have expectation.