Our greatest gift of love
My late Dad and I were very close. In one of our many father-daughter dialogues, he openly expressed his opinion on an interesting yet delicate topic called boys. “There are only two kinds of boys,” he said. “The kind you marry and the kind you don’t.”
I was in my early twenties then as I pondered on his gentle reminder. I prayed to St. Joseph for a good husband. One day, I accompanied my mother to a concert and there I met a boy. He was good looking, hardworking and smart. My parents knew his family. We dated and he asked me to marry him. In my heart I knew for certain that he was the one. I immediately said yes! We waited for a year, and within this one-year engagement period, we were able to prepare ourselves for marriage. After our wedding, we honeymooned in California where we lived for nine months, came back blissfully happy, ready to settle down in the Philippines to work and raise a family.
This second chapter, however, did not go as smoothly as the first. A lesson I learned in life is, you can plan all you want but still things don’t always turn out the way you plan them. Right when we thought we were ready to have a child, the child did not come. My husband yearned for a son. My father longed for a grandson. Together, we sought doctors and specialists. I tried various treatments and fertility drugs but eight years after our wedding, our dream was unfulfilled. Finally, my compassionate parents, seeing how much of a toll it was taking on us, invited us on a trip to California to take a break from all our heartaches. Hence, we decided to just leave it up to God in sweet surrender.
This vacation turned out to be an immensely enjoyable blessing. On the last leg of our journey, we met up with my cousin David Paterno. What a blessed surprise! His wife Roxanne just had a baby boy and they immediately recommended the specialist who assisted them. So, off we went. Dr. Arnold Jacobson greeted us with kindness, and restored our enthusiasm. He said there was hope for me to get pregnant. Our godparents Norman and Nilda Turley welcomed us into their home with open arms, and so my very grateful parents encouraged us to stay on.
After a whole cycle of treatments that took almost three months and the tender loving care of neighbors and relatives from the Bay Area, the day to receive my pregnancy results arrived. We all held hands nervously as we waited and prayed for that phone to ring, and when it did, we were all too scared to answer it. Then I heard that voice saying, “Congratulations, Mrs. Soliven! You’re pregnant!” We all got down on our knees to say a thank you prayer with tears of joy. I called Mom and Dad in Manila at 3 a.m. to share the good news. They were ecstatic. Finally, I was allowed to fly back home.
It was my first trimester and I was triumphantly back in Manila celebrating the good news with two friends. We were chatting away in the living room. Suddenly, I felt the urge to go to the bathroom. When I stood up, fresh blood started gushing down my legs. My two friends Belette Hillerstam and Maritess Bichara immediately brought me to my bedroom to lie down while Maritess called her boyfriend, Dr. Boboy del Rosario. He advised them to take me to the emergency room. My yaya Josie Rubio called for help and our next door neighbor’s bodyguard, a big, burly guy lifted me up and carried me to Belette’s car. Yaya cradled my head on her lap as I lay nervously in the back seat. Belette, who was also pregnant at the time, drove as fast as she could with Maritess beside her. Dr. Pacita Lazaro met us at Makati Med. She did a quick ultrasound and immediately comforted me by saying, “Look! There’s your baby! He is safely swimming inside.” What a relief!
She said I needed to stay in the hospital because I developed a blood clot near the placenta. It was so hard to get a room but a kind soul helped us to get one. My worried husband contacted Dr. Jacobson in California. This is what he said: “Please tell Michelle there is nothing more we can do right now, except pray.”
And that was it. My sister Yvonne gave me a novena prayer to St. Anne, the mother of Mary. I prayed to her to save our baby. Dad rushed to the hospital with Mom. He said he felt so weak when he heard the news. His knees buckled down at the thought of losing the baby that we had long been waiting for.
I was frightened yet hopeful. Frightened because every time I moved from side to side, I would bleed. Hopeful because I was surrounded by love. Ever an obedient patient, I obeyed my doctors. Dr. Lazaro said rest and relax. Dr. Jacobson said pray. One of my dear friends Martha Uy called to say, “Michelle I’m thinking of you and have a special message for you. Psalm 46:10 says, ‘Be still and know that I am God’.” This brought me a whole lot of courage and resolve.
God stilled me in order to feel his love. My husband came from work daily and slept with me every night in the hospital. My family pampered me. My sister Christine provided me with films to watch. She even brought her funny yet soulful best friend Büm Tenorio to sing and dance for me. Friends prayed for me and sent me a hospital bed when I finally got discharged after seven weeks in the hospital. I had to lie down in it at home for the remainder of my pregnancy all the way to the last month. Faithful Yaya Josie washed my hair, gave me sponge baths, cooked my meals and massaged me. My Ate Jaqui and only brother Mark sent me food. My siblings-inlaw took turns visiting me. Fr. Nico Bautista celebrated Masses and gave me communion. So much love was pouring in and throughout this delicate pregnancy, I felt the grace of God. It was so palpable. Despite the stiffness, pains and itchiness of lying down for months without being able to get out of bed, I was too happy to even complain. Every single need was granted. I woke up with a smile on my face and enjoyed my quiet prayer time with God as I felt our baby moving around in my womb. I felt our Blessed Mother’s soothing touch, telling me to just be patient and ponder on good things.
Gratefully acknowledging this divine streak of miracles led us to a happy ending. Out of our sweet surrender to God, came our greatest gift of love. Thank you to all our heroes — our loving families, friends, doctors, nurses and helpers. On Feb. 14, 1996, our precious son was born.
Happy birthday, Vincent! As you turn 20 today, may our good Lord gift you with the grace to give and to receive His immeasurable love.