Peter Coyiuto: Rule No.1 -Elena is the boss. Rule No.2 -If there’s a family feud, Peter is the boss.
But if there is an argument between Peter and Elena, revert to rule No. 1.
We catch First Life Financial president and CEO Peter Coyiuto in the process of moving into a new art-filled home with his wife, the artist Elena. It’s now an empty nest: his eldest daughter Stephanie is married to Joseph Tay, although they still see each other at work as she helps out in the life insurance company he founded. Stephanie also runs home and office furniture boutiques Casa Bella and Contract World with her husband. His son Alexander is dabbling in real estate with his mother’s family business. Her two youngest daughters are currently based in New York. Sofia is a digital producer in advertising, set to pursue a master’s degree there. The baby of the family, Samantha, is a published author and is taking up her master’s in writing. When Peter’s not working, he busies himself with breaking his personal records in swimming, golf and weight resistance. He is an accomplished man, but if you ask him, his greatest achievement is his family.
What is your greatest thrill as a dad? How do you describe yourself as a dad?
PETER COYIUTO: My greatest thrill as a dad is witnessing my children become their own person. As a dad, I sometimes tend to be bossy and forceful by nature. Sometimes too much for my own good.
(Laughs) No amount of success in the corporate world can compensate for failure in the home. I remember when my father (the late Robert Coyiuto, Sr.) found out that he had cancer. Instead of using his time to travel the world, he said that he’d rather spend the remaining days of his life with his family. Pope Francis puts it best: “There is no perfect family. We have no perfect parents, we are not perfect, we do not get married to a perfect person, nor do we have perfect children. We have complaints about each other. We are disappointed by one another. Therefore, there is no healthy marriage or healthy family without the exercise of forgiveness.”
Your children have become successful in business — their own, as well as in your family business. You have produced academic achievers who also excel in athletics. What was your formula as a dad in raising kids?
My formula is simple. Listen to my wife who is the queen at home! (Laughs) We place value on not just one aspect of achievement. We are proud of our kids whether they excel in academics, sports, business, or even having their own tight-knit family. You are a product of Wharton. Did you also wish for them to benefit from studying abroad and getting more global perspectives?
Yes, definitely. All four of my kids have in one form or another studied abroad. My eldest Stephanie studied in Singapore, and she also studied in the US with my son Xandor at one point. My second daughter, Sofia, graduated from Santa Clara in California. My youngest daughter who just graduated from Pomona College is now living in New York taking up her master’s degree. I quote the British author William Haley: “Education would be much more effective if its purpose was to ensure that by the time they leave school every boy and girl should know how much they do not know, and be imbued with a lifelong desire to know it.”
You are in the insurance business and Elena is in real estate. Are dinner table conversations peppered with insights into business? What are the main lessons in business you taught them?
In our family, everyone likes to talk a lot! Our conversations range from business to sports, the arts… The main lesson I believe is that having your own business is challenging but rewarding. You have to be passionate about what you do. Rule number one:
Everybody knows that Elena is the boss. Rule number two: If there’s family feud, Peter is the boss. Rule number three: But if there is an argument between Peter and Elena, revert to rule number one.
What about lessons about the real world — what are your favorite preachings on this? Things they don’t learn in school?
How to deal with all kinds of people. This is a skill that one develops over time through actual experiences.
Aside from business, you are a witty writer and your speeches are well received. Elena, on the other hand, is a gifted artist, with her paintings selling out before an exhibit ends. So among your children, who inherited which talents?
My eldest daughter Stephanie, now married to Joseph Tay, inherited the more serious aspect of my character. She studied business and finance and helps me in my life insurance company First Life Financial. Being a daughter of her mom, She also inherited her mom’s love for design and she has her own business with her husband. They run Casa Bella and ContractWorld, specializing in home and office furniture
My son Alexander inherited the love for real estate and works with my wife. He has a keen sense of investing and is a dynamic risk taker as well.
My second daughter Sofia has a good dose of the creative streak as well and is a digital producer in advertising. She is about to take her master’s degree in New York specializing in media management.
My youngest daughter Samantha just graduated from Pomona College and is taking up her master’s in writing at the New School in New York. She is a published author, and I am excited to read more of her books! She is now with an internship at a prestigious publishing company in New York.
Hard work — they got it from me. Their sports inclination, they got it from me. But beauty and the rest, they got it from Elena.
Looking at your family’s social media accounts, it seems you are also enjoying being a grandfather. Tell us about it.
I have six grandkids now. Five boys and one girl. I am proud of all my grandchildren. I spend time with them mostly doing my favorite — sports! I take them to golf and swimming. One of my grandsons is now a tennis champion taking after my youngest daughter.
What legacy would you like to leave your children and greatgrandchildren?
Strength of character is important. But if possible, also be like me — strong physically as well! (Laughs) I have always said that it is more important to be kind over anything else. Having a good sense of humor will always help, too.
I went to Hong Kong about two weeks ago to attend a wedding. There, I bought a copy of the book of Robert Kuok, the founder of Shangri-La Hotel. This is my favorite quote from the book that I hope to pass on to them: “If, after I am gone, my descendants stay united and have a shared purpose in life, and understand that for the group to survive there must be more to life than the pursuit of wealth, I will be satisfied.” Just like in life insurance — you’re not living for yourself, but for others.