JM AND RHIAN ENVISION LOVE
In ‘Kung Paano Siya Nawala’ a woman falls in love with a man diagnosed with face blindness. ‘You don’t need to have face blindness to know what it’s like to be scared to be in over your head in love… the rest are things that are necessary to go through be
Every now and again, it happens. You see a familiar face and run through your mental Rolodex trying to remember their name and place exactly where you met or how you know them. But what if you were physically incapable of establishing that imprint, and every face was entirely forgettable, regardless of your relationship to them? What if every time you saw that same person — your mother, your father, or even someone you’re initially attracted to — they looked entirely different, even if they sounded the same and had similar mannerisms?
In Joel Ruiz’s Kung Paano Siya Nawala, JM de Guzman’s character deals with an uncommon affliction called face blindness. It’s not a fantastical disease (even though it sounds like one), and its proper name is prosopagnosia. Those diagnosed with the neurological disorder have an inability to recognize faces, and in extreme cases even their own faces are foreign to them. And while this sounds like a disorder that is ripe for movie writers’ picking (I mean, haven’t we, at this point, heard of every possible heart ailment, terminal illness, and congenital disease in the book), Kung
Paano Siya Nawala doesn’t just use it as a plot point or a means to propel the story forward. It gives prosopagnosia some room and explores how such a disease affects a person in their everyday life, how insecure or small they might be prone to feeling, how introverted and private they might tend to be, and how it affects the creation of memories without having visuals as an anchor.
“Some of my character’s insecurities stemmed from that,” says Rhian Ramos who plays Shana. “Like she’ll never really know if the guy she’s with found her physically attractive or not, she’ll never know if her face is something he craves. And there’s a real fear of being forgotten.” She says it’s led to some reflection on the value of the physical aspect, one she’s never thought about before because she herself has never had a “type” when it comes to men. “It’s important, but it’s not everything. Iba ’yung ramdam mo ’yung tao. It’s how they make you feel, even about yourself, how they make you feel about yourself. When you find someone that you really connect with, it just changes the entire environment.”
De Guzman also says that face blindness can be a metaphor for any sort of imperfection or issue or trait we feel about ourselves that are undesirable, which in turn become obstacles when it comes to trying to achieve a certain level of intimacy with a partner. “Kaya mo ginagawang secret kasi,” he starts to say as Rhian interjects, “Alam mong hindi mo ikapopogi.” De Guzman
agrees and adds, “Oo, ‘yung ikababasag ng ego mo, confidence mo, pagkatao mo, baka tumigil ka o maparalisado ka. Ibibigay mo doon sa kanya, tapos matatakot ka every second. Aalagaan mo ’yun, iisipin mo, ‘tanggap ba niya talaga ’yun,’ o kaya niya ba talaga ’yung mga parts na kahit ikaw mismo hindi mo matanggap sa sarili mo.”
ON VULNERABILITY
It’s impossible to discuss both relationships and acting without discussing the idea of professional vulnerability versus personal vulnerability. De Guzman is quick to quip, “Doon nga nagkakatalo eh,” to the laughter of the room. “’Yung level of trust din para maging kumportable tsaka maging vulnerable sa isa’t isa, matindi. ’Yung personal vulnerability, choice mo ’yun, napipili mo ’yun. Pero ’yung risk as actors is rurupok ka. Kailangan marupok ka eh.” For Ramos, however, the difference is distinct. “I find it easier to be professionally vulnerable, because whatever I put out there, it’s easier to get it back when I hear the word ‘cut.’ It’s so much harder to do it in real life, but that being said, it was particularly easy to do it in this film, because I trust JM completely. He makes it so easy for me to get there, and I just trust him with everything I throw at him.”
“Hindi kami papayag na mediocre, na pwede na o maitawid lang. Gusto naming maramdaman ’yung isa’t isa,” De Guzman says. Ramos responds
with, “Ako gusto ko ’yung feeling na nakakatakot na ’yung ginagawa ko. Alam mo ’yung feeling na,
‘Makakabalik pa ba ako from this?’ Pero iri-risk mo siya.” De Guzman nods, with the most satisfied look on his face, as though savoring the most delicious meal.
But putting so much emotion and sanity on the line begs the question of how one copes with a job and a calling that requires the constant tapping into highly emotional experiences. They talk about everyday coping mechanisms such as stress eating or working out, but both discuss their need to see professionals in order to maintain a balance, especially when things get overwhelming. “I’m glad that people are much more open,” says Ramos. “It’s not like before where everyone just expects you to deal with it. You have to get the help that you need, and you have to be self-aware enough to know when you’re slipping into something a little dark.”
THE PRODUCERS
The film, which hits theaters on Nov. 14, has been in the making for several years. Ramos was involved from the beginning, and they were ready to shoot early on, but scheduling issues led to a string of compromises that would have changed the nature of the film altogether. Ramos, already in love with the story, decided to speak against rushing the making of the film and in asserting herself, offered to be a coexecutive producer. De Guzman has a producer credit as well, but openly declares that Ramos is much more involved and that this film is truly her baby.
“It’s not even the lines or the script that we were really involved with, but we as a group kept going back and forth the whole time we were shooting about what the final scene should be,” says Ramos. De Guzman laughs, “Ang ending,
wala namang nangyari, nag improvise kami sa last day ng shoot.” The final outcome for these two is not just an ending they’re happy with, but a film they feel has universal themes for anyone who’s ever loved before. “You don’t need to have face blindness to know what it’s like to be scared, to be insecure, to be in over your head in love,” says Ramos. “Face blindness is his trigger, but the rest are things we’ve all gone through or that are necessary to go through before we’re ready to be in a real relationship.”