Here’s how to beat hype, overcome loneliness on Valentine’s
NEW YORK (AP) – Elise Plessis hasn’t been in a long-term relationship for 26 years. It’s by choice, yet she still suffers FOMO (fear of missing out) when Valentine’s Day rolls around.
“I’m the singleton of the family and the friend group,” said the 53-year-old Plessis, who lives in Manitoba, Canada. “Valentine’s Day makes me feel hopeless, like a loser who can’t find anyone who wants me.”
But she won’t be sitting at home cursing her fate, self-imposed after she tired of the “toxic” hookup culture. Instead, Plessis plans to do what loneliness researchers and psychologists advise: she’ll be helping others as a way to get out of her own head. In her case, she’ll be helping others find love through a match-making event.
Meanwhile, for 27-year-old Tori Mattei, she doesn’t consider herself a Valentine’s Day hater. Her best advice for making it through Valentine’s Day is as sweet as those candy conversation hearts that circulate this time of year.
“Show love to somebody. I love giving other people a gift, putting a smile on their face. And if you can’t think of someone that you want to show love to, then show love to yourself. Buy yourself candy. I buy myself flowers very frequently. I love the way they look. I don’t care that I bought them for myself,” Mattei said.
Psychotherapist Kelli Miller in Los Angeles, who works with couples and individuals and wrote “Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to the Most Common Relationship Issues,” also has a simple advice. “Valentine’s Day is a common trigger among my clients. If you don’t have the love you want, turn inward in search of happiness,” Miller said.
“Take yourself to the theater. Take yourself to dinner. I know a lot of people don’t want to dine alone, but sometimes just being around other human beings can help,” she added.