Reader’s Tale:

As the long school break approached in June, Expat Living reader PRIYANKA GUPTA reflected on how different the 2020 mid-year holiday would be for her family.

A holiday with a difference

Six months ago, if someone had told me that my summer this year would not include a road trip in New Zealand, a visit to the pandas in Chengdu, or a few weeks in sunny Thailand, I would have laughed in disbelief.

In our family, summer vacations are an annual, well-manicured project consisting of ambitious weeks of travel to at least two must-see places in the world. Summer is always that time of year where we as parents consciously attempt to take a break from our normal routines. A typical holiday for us would include exploring new places, experimenting with new food, discovering new places and embarking on new experiences.

Changed circumstances

However, this year will be very different. The summer of 2020 will be devoid of almost all these things – the things that in hindsight we took for granted. For most of us around the world, this “break” will not include having grandparents visit, and it won’t feature physical playdates in each other’s houses. We won’t be over-extending our kids and enrolling them in after-school classes to build their physical fitness and other skills, preparing them for the year ahead. And yes, there will be no travel, not even to a staycation in a neighbourhood hotel.

As a working mother in the Circuit Breaker period, I just about managed to find the rhythm and routine of balancing distance learning with remote working, along with my other household responsibilities. Knowing that my 14- and 9-year-olds would be at home for eight weeks without the “usual” summer offerings made me extremely anxious. Like most mothers from this decade, I instantly reached out to all my trusted resources for help. This included classroom WhatsApp groups, girlfriend chat groups and, last but not the least, our almighty digital universe. My single-minded objective? To make sure my kids had a solid plan for their summer holidays.

In my journey of discovery, something magical happened. I graduated from an anxious state to a state of complete joy and confidence about what the summer would bring. Below is what I learnt about our kids and what we can do as parents to make sure that the summer of 2020 will be memorable for them and for us.

Flexibility, creativity and problem-solving

Over the past few months, the world changed for our kids. Instead of being uncomfortable and uncertain, most of them seamlessly fit themselves into the “new normal”. They didn’t challenge wearing masks. And they didn’t question why they couldn’t meet friends or play soccer in neighbourhood playgrounds.

Instead, they displayed flexibility and channelled their energy to continuously keep discovering and embracing all the new and wonderful things that now defined their life.

With this flexibility and their new-found access to a wealth of resources from around the world, during this upcoming summer our kids will, once again, simply figure out what to do. They don’t need to rely on a soccer or swimming class to build their fitness; they will cycle, go for a run, watch a “PE with Joe” YouTube video or find a yoga app to focus on for the day.

Our role as parents should be to aid their access to these experiences. So, parents of younger kids should help them get organised. Sit down and help them jot down their goals and what they wish to accomplish during the break. These experiences could vary from fun science experiments at home or starting to read a blog, to writing their own song or a screenplay, doing a threeminute “body scan meditation”, making cardboard sculptures, finding shapes in nature or maintaining a gratitude journal.

Empowering kids to create, plan and do will instil problem-solving and creativity skills in them, and also give them a summer full of beautiful memories.

Emotionally connected yet physically distant

Our kids now love us even more. In all the uncertainty around the world, we are the one thing that didn’t change for them. They may not express this openly to us (especially teenagers!), but they need us now more than ever.

For most of us, the lockdown and its measures threw us into a scenario where we saw more of each other. We ate lunch and dinner together while continuing our daily lives at “school” and “work”. This precious time that we all freely acquired has made us more connected, compassionate and grateful for one another. Our kids may not be able to visit grandparents in their homes, yet they have established more frequent and meaningful connections with them.

As parents, we should encourage this bond to grow even stronger. And we should enable them to continue savouring this “connect time” with family and friends stationed all around the world.

Empathy, gratitude and positivity

While our kids have been exposed to historical and dangerous circumstances, they’ve also been fortunate to witness empathy like never before. Teachers have been more patient. Parents have lowered their stakes. And friends have been much more supportive. There’s a constant flow of compassion that is magically neutralising and humanising us as a race.

We should continue encouraging our kids to be grateful to all those who have contributed to their maintained wellbeing: their teachers, tutors and friends. And we should remind them to hold on to this trait for life and to always be kind to themselves and to others. If there are days where they want to do nothing, as parents we should happily let them do so. We should lead them to find ways to extend empathy to the outside world – to health workers, migrant workers and anyone in need of an extra hand or resources in these challenging times.

As the school break starts – despite the challenging times they have witnessed, and knowing what summer this year could be like – our children are still smiling. They’re laughing with friends on Zoom calls, finding humour in Houseparty chats, dancing to TikToks, displaying creativity and problem solving by finding new experiences. They have demonstrated flexibility, resilience and compassion not only to themselves but also those around them.

These are life skills and traits they should hold on to. While it’s never been harder to say goodbye to friends, school corridors, lockers, teachers and peers, for our kids, the summer of 2020 will be a cherished one that will prepare them for the real world more than the usual road trip to New Zealand.

Do you have a story of your own to share? See the back page of this issue to find out how to contribute!