Not Quite Into You

The proliferation of dating apps such as Tinder and Coffee Meets Bagel offer women more opportunities than ever to meet a life partner. Little wonder then, that we’ve become super selective.

“For me to swipe right (on a dating app), I have to nd him attractive. He has to be a Christian so that we share the same set of values, has to have a steady income and be at least 1.75m tall. Oh, and preferably be a podiatrist or dentist,” said my friend Kate*, a 23-year-old business executive.

Kate seemed particularly exacting in her quest for love and I wondered: what if we were less picky and simply gave people a chance?

I decided to see if an open mind would increase my chances of nding love. Removing all age, height and religious parameters, I swiped right on every guy on Coffee Meets Bagel for a month. To play it safe, I only met the guys in public, and always made sure at least one friend knew where I was and who I was with. Here’s what went down: Before the date: Having removed the age parameter, I matched with 39-year-old Charlie*, who is 14 years my senior and works in nance. The rst thing I noticed was that his texts were straightforward and at times, curt. I would come to nd out that he was no different in real life. The date: The conversation resembled an interrogation by a friend’s dad, with none of the casualness of a rst date. Upon nding out that I had studied overseas, Charlie asked about the ranking of my school and my school fees, and how I had managed to afford it.

Tact was not his strong suit. When the meringue pineapple tart I ordered arrived, he asked: “Is that all cream?” And then muttered “fattening” under his breath.

Charlie continued his relentless questioning throughout the date – which dialect group do I belong to? What do my parents do for a living? And, bizarrely enough, had