Got a Re­la­tion­ship Prob­lem? Ja­son God­frey, Our Man About Town, Is Here to Help.

Herworld (Singapore) - - MA KUANG SPECIAL -

Snooze, and you might lose out on some qual­ity we time.

My hus­band started a new job that he’s re­ally ex­cited about. But it means he now works shifts, and our sched­ules to­tally clash. We some­times go a week with­out see­ing each other awake, and we’ve been feel­ing so dis­con­nected lately. How do we keep things alive?

Pri­ori­tise your re­la­tion­ship. Since you know you can’t count on hav­ing time to­gether when­ever you want, you’ll have to ease off your ca­reers a lit­tle. Or make sure your va­ca­tion time co­in­cides, so you can spend ev­ery sec­ond to­gether. If that fails, you could al­ways think about quit­ting your jobs and mov­ing to a hippy com­mune in Costa Rica.

My boyfriend and I have been to­gether for four years. We’ve been talk­ing about the fu­ture, but he still hasn’t put a ring on it. How do I get him to hurry up?

You could talk about how all your friends are get­ting mar­ried, how they look so pretty in their wedding dresses, how fun be­ing mar­ried could be, and how your par­ents have been nag­ging you to tie the knot. See if that gets you any­where. If it doesn’t work, try hint­ing that you don’t mind a cheap ring. If mar­riage is al­ready on his mind, talk of a cheap ring will surely get him mov­ing.

My fi­ance is a re­ally messy per­son. We’re get­ting our new place soon, and I’d hate to live the way he does. I don’t want to be overly crit­i­cal, but how do I make sure I don’t end up liv­ing in a pigsty?

The only guar­an­tees in life are death and taxes. There are no guar­an­tees about liv­ing in a pigsty. Peo­ple have dif­fer­ent tol­er­ance lev­els for mess, and that can cause con­flict. For ex­am­ple, I hate dirty dishes and have to do them im­me­di­ately, while my girl can leave them overnight. If you want peace, clean up when you ab­so­lutely have to – even if it’s his mess – and don’t re­sent him for it. Ob­vi­ously, you should still get him to pick up af­ter him­self, but don’t ex­pect him to match your level of clean, be­cause he never will.

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