Got a relationship problem? Jason Godfrey, our man about town, is here to help.
My boyfriend and I live far apart. But in future, he wants us to either move in with his parents or get a flat close to their place. Their lifestyle is drastically different from mine, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to adjust to it. (For example, they have dinner at 10pm, and I have gastric problems if I eat too late.) What do I do? People are nothing if not adaptable. Dinner at 10pm does sound rather late and very Spanish, but really, how different can their lifestyles be from yours? Are they vampires? Are they conspiracy-theory nuts? If that’s the case, run as far as possible. But otherwise, they’re probably just normal people who will recognise that you moving in means it’s not just you adjusting to them, but them adjusting to you too.
My husband always makes it a point to attend his family gatherings. But there are so many of them, and he prioritises them in a way that none of his brothers do. It’s endearing, but also exhausting. We’ve just got married and he always wants me to accompany him. How do I tell him I don’t always want to go? Sounds like your husband is a real family man, and wants to spend as much time around his folks as possible.
Which is great. Family is really all that’s going to hang around later in life, and hopefully be around to lend you money or bail you out of jail – real concerns, because nothing is worse than being stuck in a cell with no bail. But if the weight of all these engagements is too much, and your concern about being stuck in jail with no bail is not very strong, and you don’t want to go with him all the time, might I suggest simply telling him that you love his family but sometimes you need some time to yourself, and wouldn’t mind missing a function or two here or there? I’m sure he’s not going to mind.
My man has some alphamale tendencies, and always has to have the last word, which annoys my friends, and sometimes me. He also likes to join all my gatherings – even my girls’ nights out. I didn’t mind it at first, but now I find it hard to tell him not to come. How do I get him to get off my case? First of all, no alpha male feels like he needs to be there on a girls’ night out. I don’t know what’s going on there, but it’s not alpha maleness. If anything, needing to have the last word and be at all your gatherings seems a little insecure to me. Maybe you’ll have to reassure him that he doesn’t need to have his way to be perceived as smart or in control, and that he really can let you go out with your girlfriends to enjoy Mamma Mia! and prosecco by yourselves – honestly, he’ll thank you. No guy, especially not an alpha male, enjoys Mamma Mia!