LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE
Yes, your comfort zone is cosy. But no, you shouldn’t wallow in it. Dealing with unfamiliar situations helps us develop self-awareness and new skills, and fuels our condence. Want to live your best life? You have to venture into the unknown. Here’s how.
1. Focus on how your body is reacting
As soon as you feel nervous, rate the intensity from one to 10, says Singaporebased Energising Goals psychologist and life coach Beata Justkowiak (www. energisinggoals. com). If your voice is changing, rate it a three; if your heart is racing, give it a five; if your hands are shaking, that’s a seven. You’ll realise it’s different each time you experience discomfort. This normalises the discomfort and cultivates a lower emotional attachment to that
panicky feeling.
2. Mentally repeat words of affirmation
It’s okay to feel stressed. Give yourself a pep talk by telling yourself that yes, you can do it, says Beata. “Then close your eyes and take two deep, slow breaths. After two seconds, open your eyes and smile.” This breaks the reaction pattern as you learn that the anxiety is temporary.
3. Prepare for daunting tasks
Think about the upside: Can it help your career? Find a compelling reason to do it, then prep for it. Ahead of leading a presentation to a client in a second language, interior designer Aria*, 27, asked if she could run through her lines with her supervisor. Practising made the task familiar, and once the real deal was over, Aria realised she was no longer afraid.
4. Embrace awkward conversations
In the book Cringeworthy: A Theory of Awkwardness by Melissa Dahl, the health and psychology journalist says that awkwardness tends to stem from how we think someone else perceives us, and that we can learn from awkward exchanges.
So either bite the bullet and have a chat, or the feeling that’s bothering you keeps eating at you.
5. Try something new regularly
Matt Cutts, a technologist in the United States, found that a month is just enough to add or subtract a habit – always start small with sustainable changes.
Freelance writer Davelle Lee, 25, gave herself a year to experiment with a podcast. “I have social anxiety, and I’d always been enamoured with the idea of starting a podcast relating to the topic. But I was terrified of putting myself out there,” she says. “Finally, I realised the one thing that would help me overcome my social anxiety was to just do it, regardless of what people might think. I did, and it was the most liberating feeling.”