Herworld (Singapore)

NICOLE KAY

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She never wanted to admit that she was suffering from mental issues even though all signs were there. Nicole Kay was constantly falling ill and stressed out.

It all came to a head when her general practition­er referred the then 24-yearold to a psychiatri­st, who diagnosed her with major depressive disorder and generalise­d anxiety disorder.

Her first reaction, she recalls: “I was disappoint­ed with myself as I thought it was because I was generally weak.” Upon her diagnosis, the management and social psychology graduate quit her first job as an administra­tor in the banking sector.

She was always working overtime, and workplace bullying was prevalent.

“I was stressed, with the constant sense of wanting to please people and to live up to their expectatio­ns,” the introvert remembers.

At home, Nicole had to deal with her parents, who were going through a divorce.

Nicole took up part-time English tuition jobs, and started penning a journal. She explains: “It’s the best therapy, and writing helps me to externalis­e things when I’m down – like unclogging a choked pipe.”

Through writing, Nicole articulate­d her emotions and thoughts with her psychiatri­st and psychologi­st.

Her growth as a writer – and gradually, with a better grasp of managing her emotions – led to Nicole founding The Tapestry Project SG in 2014. The online platform gives those who suffer from mental illness a voice.

She says: “I wanted every person and household with Internet to have access to mental health informatio­n, especially personal stories that weren’t readily available a few years back. It empowers people to take ownership of their own story.”

She adds: “People who used the platform told me that they felt relieved, and that it has helped them in their journey.”

Besides humanising illness and recovery, eradicatin­g the stigma behind mental illness was another reason she set up The Tapestry Project SG, emphasises Nicole. Last year was a big year for the writer, now 37: She started her Masters in creative writing at Lasalle College of the Arts, and was engaged for National Library Board’s writing workshops.

She says: “Most of my life, I felt that I was not heard, thus I turned to writing. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. Ignorance breeds stigma, and it becomes a self-perpetuati­ng cycle. I hope to change people’s minds about mental health.”

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