How did you manage sleep deprivation?

I didn’t have sleep deprivation while pregnant except towards the last trimester as the big tummy got uncomfortable. My pregnancy pillow was a life saver and I loved cuddling it; it provided great support to my belly.

After delivery, I chose to co-sleep with the baby as I was breastfeeding and I found it more convenient to be in the same room as it gave me a bit of mental peace not worrying about the baby in another room.

My husband shared the night duties on his off-days – I would give him a bottle of formula or pump extra milk the day before.

I made several mistakes during my journey as a mother, particularly with my first child. One was adopting the cry-it-out method. In retrospect, I acknowledge it as a mistake and live with a deep regret. Although my daughter had her own cot and a wellestablished sleep routine, I realise now that I sacrificed my instinctive connection with her. Relying excessively on books and the internet, I struggled to grasp the essence of being a mother. I aimed to adhere strictly to prescribed methods, and if my daughter woke up at night, I felt like a failure. It also hindered our ability to prioritise our relationship as a couple, as the baby’s routine always took precedence. Along the way, we learned that being a family unit means the baby adapts to our journey as well.

With my second child, I embraced a more flexible approach, drawing lessons from my experiences with the first. I was less stringent about routines and focused on enjoying my baby. Whether on-the-go or at home, I allowed for naps in the car, stroller or carrier. If it took extra time to settle them to bed, I learned the value of cuddling, carrying, comforting and rocking them. Each child has their own sleep pattern and rhythm; it’s important to be adaptable. It’s not about being entirely child-led, as babies cannot lead, but about embracing the unique journey of caring for each child. Although the routine of attending to their sleep, bath and eventually food may feel mundane and lengthy, they grow up so quickly. Being conscious of each moment with them proves rewarding, fostering a present, gentle, kind and accepting parenting approach.

Regarding nursing to sleep, I regret sitting up to breastfeed with my first two. It was tiring and kept me too alert. With my third child, I coshared our bed, which allowed me to nurse to sleep, or if I was awake, gently return her to her cot. Nursing in a lying-down position, sideways, allowed both me and the baby to gradually fall asleep during the feed, proving to be the most rewarding practice. I wish I had adopted this approach with my first two. Our mistakes become valuable lessons, contributing to our continuous growth and learning as parents.