RESOLUTIONS OF A SOCIAL CLIMBER
Icannot tell you how many shoe and perfume events I’ve attended to score a coveted invitation to Singapore’s biggest party, thrown by the top society magazine. It has taken three years of just the right amount of mascara, new frocks and expensive blowouts, but it’s so worth it. Just to be in the room with the crème de la crème! Those women whose entrances we all await, only to see how they’ll style their outfits, how many carats might dangle from their wrists and drip from their ears, how high their backcombs will be this time. What will kooky Zi Yi and virtuous Vera, the very best of frenemies, stroll in wearing? Demi-couture, custom originals, fairy lights?
You can understand why it’s vital I get everything on point.
I’ve befriended every event photographer, so they really don’t mind helping me with phone snaps with whoever I can drag into the photo with me. Because it’s really about who you’re seen with and who you tag on Instagram. I’ve even perfected my pose – one foot placed precisely in front of the other, and two elbow angles, depending on whether I’m holding a glass of champagne or my mini Birkin – and expression, opening my eyes just that bit wider, without making crazy eyes, so the camera doesn’t catch the eye droop caused by these 18mm-long lash extensions.
I’ve also skipped meals to attain a body like the immensely popular Clarisse’s. Yes, she’s almost transparent in her skinniness; rumour is, not a morsel passes between her plumped lips, lest she cannot fit into her Balmain and Givenchy. Incidentally, I heard she only buys on sale; she claims, though, that she loves to shop, but only musters the guts to bring out each season’s statement pieces after the trends have ridden out. Hmm.
This year, I resolve to finally get my third photo published in a society magazine’s online gallery – with my name, please, not “friend”. My husband, of course, thinks I’m mad. He says I’m “aspirational” and will never be like those people. Those people were once like me, I always tell him. Disapprovingly, he says they’re all pretentious snobs, acting and living a filtered life no one can truly achieve. It is true, I grant, that if one gets a new dress, the other has to get a better one. If one husband gets a supercar, his pal has to get one that is uber super.
No matter. The glamorous lives of these people, flying around in private planes, sipping champagne extravagant evening after extravagant evening, pre-ordering the entire collection from Chanel (yes, Bettina, I’m looking at you)...is just The Life.
Ohhh, that party of the year? I was there. As dear, kind Shermaine’s plus- one. And I have 2019 ambitions, not aspirations. I’ll be back – this year, on the invite list.