FESTIVAL BAROMETER
Are you a festival pro? Have a gander below for what’s hot and not
Culture-vulturing at the Hay literary festival or gallivanting at Glastonbury? Drop by Nick Jones’ 15th venture, where farm buildings and lakeside log cabins set on 40ha of rolling countryside play host to horse and cart rides, a cinema, tennis and even an ice rink. The Farm Deli—with its own wine cellar, and pickle and curing rooms—and lakeside Japanese restaurant provide ample pre- and post-festival fortification. Feeling lazy? Order hangover-curing breakfasts and cocktails delivered to your cabin door by a vintage milk float. Sip a pre-fest pint in your Soho Farmhouse wellies at the pub, or enjoy a sociable cleanse in one of the twoperson spa baths at the spa island (postGlasto guests are excused for skipping the mud room). sohofarmhouse.com
WALKIE-TALKIES
Absolutely not joking here. Phone reception at music festivals is notoriously dodgy and these old-school gizmos have great range. Zero Instagramming potential, but tune in to the right channel and get the backstage goss.
GLAMPING
Whether a 5* Burning Man camp, luxury yurt or full-blown inn a la the Pop-up Hotel at Glastonbury ... No one likes sitting in a soggy tent, so get organised and do the right thing. You know you want to.
GROUPIES
Think about it. You love their music, you know the middle name of their pet goldfish ... What could be better than hanging out backstage with the band? Get creative with your method of approach— panty-hurling optional.
NATIVE AMERICAN HEADDRESSES
Never ever is this acceptable. It’s offensive. In fact, cultural appropriation of all sorts is off the menu. Bin the bindis gals and smother your face in Swarovski crystals instead.
CROWD-SURFING
You may have consumed your bodyweight in rum punch, be wearing silver trousers and feel invincible, but you are not Iggy Pop, nor are you R Kelly. You may believe you can fly, but let’s not put it to the test.
FLOWER CROWNS
Once a kooky adornment inspired by the hippies of the ’70s, this headgear has become less magical, more mass market. You’re honestly better off in a baseball cap.