Small Talk
Stick to your wellness goals with these tips from life coach Aimee Barnes Pestano
Stick to your wellness goals with these tips from life coach Aimee Barnes Pestano
You started the year wanting a “system reboot”: breaking bad habits, starting healthy routines and finding balance in your mind, body and spirit. But now that we are already in the month of July, you find that you haven’t made much progress. You are not alone. “The most common mistake people make when it comes to creating resolutions that stick is that they attempt to commit to a lofty, ill-defined goal right out of the gate, rather than breaking it down into realistic, well-defined and easily digestible chunks,” observes Singapore-based life coach Aimee Barnes Pestano, founder of Tangram Wellness. Her advice? Break down the “big” goal into action steps, write down each step on a Post-it note, and stick them onto a poster board in a linear fashion. When a particular step is mastered, remove the Post-it. Working with a behaviour change specialist or joining an accountability group can also be invaluable in staying the course. Accountability is perhaps the single most critical factor for success. Pestano explains, “Develop a system for checking in with yourself. I would recommend doing so at the end of each week. Every few months, consider allocating an entire 24 hours for ‘monk mode’. Hole up alone somewhere—a bare-bones hotel room, silent retreat or tent in the woods—with no electronics. Review your goals and trajectory with a critical eye. Journal ideas, doodle thought bubbles and mind maps, ask yourself tough questions, and leave with an updated plan, concrete action steps, and a clear vision.” Here are Pestano’s tips to achieving your wellness goals.
1 Begin with a reflection. Fold a paper lengthwise. In one column, write down what gets in the way of your goals—you’ll need a clear picture of your obstacles. Be brutally honest. If you’re aiming to lose weight, you might write, “My friends always invite me out for dinner and drinks, and not only do I end up going, but I always order the cheesiest dish on the menu, wash it down with two margaritas, and then tear into a bag of chips when I get home because I
feel so ashamed”. In the second column, write what you’ll need to do differently for each item. For instance, “I’m only going to accept invitations for dinner with my friends twice a month, and I will thoughtfully choose what to eat by Googling the restaurant menu beforehand. I’m implementing a zero alcohol policy for the next two months because I always overeat when I drink. And I’m going to a hire a personal trainer to keep me accountable.”
2 Review your original goals once more using a SMARTER checklist. Are your goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound, Evaluated on a Regular Basis, and Rewarded? The last two are important: establish your regular check in and “monk mode” days, and write these on your calendar. Reward yourself regularly for wins. For instance, if you managed to write every day for 30 days straight, you might want to gift yourself a fancy new pen or a luxurious massage.
3 Figure out how you can alter your environment to support you. For example, if you’re trying to quit drinking, remove all the alcohol at home and take a different route home if you’re prone to stopping at the local bar.
4 Enlist support. Join or form an accountability group, hire a coach or a personal trainer or enrol in a class. You might also consider putting some money on the line through an anti-charity system, where you agree to donate a certain painful dollar amount to a charity or cause you detest if you cheat on your goals or resolutions, and then post the donation information on your Facebook page. One app, Stikk (stickk.com), can help you do this.
5 Stop beating yourself up! We all slip up on our goals—that’s a normal part of the process. Dust yourself off, get back on the horse and continue onward, my friend.