The Undeniable Pleasure of Chamois Cream

IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE CYCLING GREAT.

A CERTAIN FRIEND OF MINE (FIRST NAME: JAN. SURNAME: BRAAI) USES CHAMOIS CREAM EVERY TIME HE RIDES. Whenever he slides on his bibs he’s always prepped with a solid application of lubrication, to ensure his nethers neither rot nor chafe.

I’m not as fastidious a chamois- creamer as Jan; but for anything more than two hours on the bike, I dig into my cupboard of butt creams and apply a suitable lather to the vulnerable areas.

I have to admit that there’s an undeniable pleasure in application... especially of the kinds that include menthol. Nothing better than a gentle tingle before the ride, to reassure you that fungal nasties and chafe will never be a factor, no matter how long your coffee stops are.

I tend to apply chamois cream directly to the skin side of the skin-Lycra equation – hence the rule to never double dip with pesky saddle sores. In fact, saddle sores are at the very extreme of cycling ailments, and should not be flirted with at all (so if you’re feeling a little tender in one spot, beware – you may have the beginnings of a saddle sore!). And if you’re in any doubt about the wisdom of leaving an embryonic saddle sore for too long, just Google ‘saddle sores’ and click on ‘Images’. You’ll never ride bareback again.

Fungal infections are rife too, and creams made with that tingly antiseptic stuff are the perfect way to ensure you aren’t scratching inappropriately at your next business breakfast.

In this issue, we’ve narrowed down your choice of best chamois creams, including everything from Zam-Buk (used for years by South African mothers, to treat anything from a bee sting to a broken arm!) to the very Rolls-Royce of