If you don’t have a sport in Finland, just invent a new one
And so, to Finland, where the New York Times is reporting this week that the country has “sort of lost its sports mind”. Finland, the country that gave us the calm majesty of Sami Hyypia, the genius of Jari Litmanen, the dry smile of Mika Hakkinen, the dead face of Kimi Raikkonen and the swashbuckling party that was Keke Rosberg, has just hosted the 20th annual Swamp Soccer World Championships.
The Times reminds us Finland also hosts the Wife Carrying World Championships, Mobile Phone Throwing World Championships, World Berry Picking Championship and Air Guitar World Championships.
As Paivi Kemppainen, a swamp soccer player and fan, told Andrew Keh of the Times: “We have some weird hobbies.”
Perhaps the most famous mascot in Finland is Jetta, a “stuffed badger ensconced in a bird cage”.
Keh explains it perfectly: “Jetta acts as a mascot of sorts for a team of 12 friends who make the seven-hour drive each year from Vihti, near Helsinki, for the competition.
“They bought the doll seven years ago from a junk store at a highway rest stop, and her fame around the swamp has grown ever since.
A couple of years ago, she was interviewed by reporter from a local newspaper.”
I searched long and hard for Jetta’s interview. You suspect it would have been a bit like trying to get a usable quote out of Kimi, perhaps a little easier.
What else has helped Finland lose its sports mind, Andrew? “In 1995, a Finn named Henri Pellonpaa killed a world-record 21 bugs in five minutes at the Mosquito Killing World Championships in Pelkosenniemi.
“The World Sauna Championships were heavily contested in Heinola from 1999 to 2010, until a competitor died from third-degree burns.
“More recently, thousands of Finns, most of them teenage girls, have taken up competitive hobbyhorsing, wherein competitors trot and hurdle obstacles while riding the wooden toys.”
The long, dark winters mean the Finns go a little crazy in the summer. Add in booze, and you have the recipe for some wonderful madness.
Ranker.com has a list of famous Finnish sports stars. It is a strange list as it does not include any of the Formula One racing drivers. It does have a South African.
Frantz Kruger, the discus thrower born in Kempton Park, is ranked at 96 of famous Finns. He won bronze in the discus for SA at the Sydney Olympics. He married Heli Koivula, the now retired triple jumper and got Finnish citizenship in 2007.
He has returned to competition at the age of 42 after a six-year break from the sport and won at a meet last week with a throw of 57.35m.
“I am happy,” Kruger told yle.fi and thank goodness for Google translate. “The rank was surprisingly good, but the result was not. My goal was to exceed 60m and I would have been successful if there was a better wind. I’ve been practicing a couple of times a week. It can be said that I saw an old man in pretty good shape.”
Rosberg also took a six-year break, deciding not to talk to the media while his son, Nico, was competing. When Nico won the world championship in 2016, Keke spoke to motorsport.com:
“Q: How did you react to the race when Lewis was backing Nico up in those final laps?
KR: I took a deep sip from my beer and thought this was going to get hot.
Q: Is it hard watching Nico? Do you feel the same emotions as him?
KR: Of course. Wouldn’t you as a father?
Q: You are, of course, the only world champion to have seen his son win the title.
KR: Yes as someone said, the only alive one. Just!
Q: Is his driving style different to yours? KR: He has a better car. Q: What matters more to you – your wins or Nico’s?
KR: No, my wins don’t count anymore. They are such a long time ago, I could have been a dentist. For me it doesn’t count anymore. It is all about Nico and his performance and success now.”