Pull-her-down syndrome defeats struggle for equality
With International Women’s Day having recently been observed, I thought it relevant to share some thoughts on why women in general have not achieved as much as they could in senior executive positions.
This article is spurred by a recent experience I had with two senior women running a large listed company. This experience made it obvious that unless women change their attitude towards other women, we are on a hiding to nothing.
Some background first. After months of engagement with the company concerned regarding a new product, a number of approvals granted and millions of rand invested, I was summoned to an executive committee meeting to answer a few final questions.
After the initial introductions, one of the women launched into a 45-minute barrage of screaming and abuse.
None of it had anything to do with any real questions and everything to do with the fact that she clearly had a problem dealing with another senior businesswoman. The abuse was personal.
The CEO, also a woman, watched on with a satisfied smile on her face. Nowhere in that tirade did she feel the need to intervene. The men in the room looked on with horror.
Never in my entire business career, which has involved its fair share of negotiations with men, have I been exposed to such behaviour, and this encounter left me shaken.
But it also got me thinking. Let’s reverse the situation. Would this have happened if the abusive questioner had been a man posing questions to a woman? Would it have happened if I was a man?
It didn’t help that I am a client of the company.
I am sorry to say that often women are their gender’s own worst enemies. They struggle to support the success of other women. They do not establish networks like men do. They cheer when other women fail and view them as competition.
I know I am generalising and that not all senior female executives are the same, but even a handful can destroy hard-fought progress.
If our attitude towards one another does not change; if we do not start supporting and mentoring one another, we will be in exactly the same position 10 years from now — whingeing about lower pay, glass ceilings and inequality, drowning our sorrows in wine at book clubs.
The time has come to take responsibility for changing the status quo. We must support one another, as well as younger women. We must stop blaming men and stop giving them tools — such as being over-emotional — to use against us.
It is time to grow tougher skins. We should have the self-confidence not to view other women as a threat, but rather as an inspiration. The job starts early on.
First, we need to teach our daughters self-confidence. The best approach is to ensure they are taught, very early on, to speak up for themselves.
Public speaking and debating societies at schools are an excellent start.
Second, we need to become more aware of how we act in the workplace towards other women. I would urge every female senior executive to adopt a junior mentee — someone they can meet with monthly for half-an-hour and offer advice.
Next time you are considering promoting someone to a senior position, consider women first.
And, finally, let’s start respecting one another. Abusive behaviour of women by other women in the boardroom is a massive step backwards.