Overreact! But not to missed deadlines
When President Cyril Ramaphosa delayed his Sunday night address until Monday morning, and then delayed it again until Monday evening, a ripple of alarm spread across SA. His political opponents denounced what they called a lack of leadership. Anxious South Africans took to social media to complain about being left in the dark.
I understand both responses. In a time of extreme anxiety and uncertainty, sudden changes to government plans and inexplicable silences make many people fear the worst.
I, too, felt anxiety. But I wasn’t worrying about a perceived lack of leadership and information. The decisions Ramaphosa has taken required intense consultation. It’s possible he is writing the sort of IOUs that reverberate across years. This is not something he could rush.
No, my problem was that my deadline was Monday afternoon, and by delaying his address until Monday evening he was forcing me to write blind. Yes, dear reader, there’s nothing like a global pandemic to bring out the petty solipsism of the opinion columnist.
All of which is why I can’t comment on the contents of Monday night’s speech, or even know if it happened. What I do know is this: whatever it was Ramaphosa told us to do or stop doing, a great many people are going to keep doing the opposite until they are forced to stop by a police officer or a soldier.
Indeed, as I’ve watched the government beg the suburbs from where the virus is spreading to practise social distancing or self-isolation, and as I’ve seen residents of those suburbs give the state a manicured middle finger, I’ve gained genuine sympathy for just how diabolically difficult it is for a government to enforce policy.
Imagine the frustration of asking people not to set themselves on fire only to be told: “Relaaax, dude. Also, I’m not gonna stop because I LOVE setting myself on fire!”
I honestly don’t know how officials don’t resort to violence or self-harm when dealing with people like the woman from East London who, according to the Daily Dispatch, tested positive for Covid-19 after returning from Germany but has been wandering around the city allegedly claiming her “right to freedom of movement”.
But of course, it’s not just idiots and narcissists who are dismissing the global effort to slow the spread of Covid-19. For many, mostly on the right, it has become a political position.
Even now I can’t open Twitter without seeing someone with a star-spangled or oranjeblanje-blou bio pic saying, in effect: “The government is finally revealing its true, totalitarian nature by telling me not to set myself on fire, which means it is my duty as a libertarian or conservative or Republican to set myself on fire RIGHT NOW for the sake of our nation’s future!”
I can’t decide whether it’s ignorance or gaslighting or both, but from the American midwest to the megachurches of Southern Africa, millions of people are taking their contempt for experts to extraordinarily destructive lengths. The old Richard Pryor joke is being rewritten with a grim twist.
In the original, a woman catches her cheating man in flagrante. As he protests his innocence, he asks: “Who you gonna believe, baby? Me or your lying eyes?” Today the liar caught with his pants down is asking: “Who you gonna believe, baby? Me and your pastor and that libertarian on Twitter and the orange realityTV star, or those lying facts?”
Having said that, I want the contrarians to be right. We all do. We’ll all hope we’re “overreacting” and that the virus will magically go away “like a miracle”, the way Donald Trump said it would.
If we live in reality, however, we know it won’t, and that we must, instead, “overreact” every day, until the wave breaks and recedes. We must “overreact” and give every possible chance to SA’s sick, elderly and poor; to buy every minute we can for the brave doctors and nurses frantically preparing our defensive lines. We must “overreact” by expressing respect and gratitude to those who wish they could stay at home but who are behind the counter, selling us our groceries and our medicines.
Yes, there are many fools out there, but there are also blessings. On my most recent trip to a supermarket I was focusing on moving like one of those landmine-sniffing rats when I was suddenly confronted by a serene young man holding up a squirt bottle of sanitiser the way archangels hold up flaming swords. “You will sanitise,” he said softly but with supreme authority. As he spritzed me I fought the urge to kneel and whisper: “Yes, I will, my lord ...”
For now, though, I’m going to obey more earthly powers, and do whatever the president told us to.
I’VE GAINED GENUINE SYMPATHY FOR JUST HOW DIABOLICALLY DIFFICULT IT IS FOR A GOVERNMENT TO ENFORCE POLICY
THE GOVERNMENT IS FINALLY REVEALING ITS TOTALITARIAN NATURE BY TELLING ME NOT TO SET MYSELF ON FIRE