STREET DOGS

From ‘The Art of Money Getting’ by PT Barnum (1880)

That we are born “free and equal” is a glorious truth in one sense, yet we are not all born equally rich. One may say; “there is a man who has an income of $50,000 per annum, while I have but $1,000; I knew that fellow when he was poor like myself; now he is rich and thinks he is better than I am; I will show him that I am as good as he is; I will go and buy a horse and buggy; no, I cannot do that, but I will go and hire one and ride on the same road he does, and thus prove to him that I am as good as he is.”

My friend, you need not take that trouble; you can easily prove that you are “as good as he is”; you have only to behave as well as he does; but you cannot make anybody believe that you are rich as he is. Besides, if you put on these “airs” and waste your time and spend your money, your poor wife will be obliged to scrub her fingers off at home, and buy her tea two ounces at a time, and everything else in proportion, in order that you may keep up “appearances”, and, yet, deceive nobody.

On the other hand, Mrs Smith may say that her next-door neighbour married Johnson for his money, and “everybody says so”. She has a nice $1,000 camel’s hair shawl, and she will make Smith get her an imitation one, and she will sit in a pew right next to her neighbour in church to prove that she is her equal.

My good [people], you will not get ahead in the world if your vanity and envy thus take the lead.

MY GOOD [PEOPLE], YOU WILL NOT GET AHEAD IN THE WORLD IF YOUR VANITY AND ENVY THUS TAKE THE LEAD