Oh, for the antics of Simon Hobday to light up the course
Funny how sometimes you will be thinking about one thing and, before you know it, your train of thought has taken a track to another station altogether. Kind of what happened to me as I watched the final round of the Open last Sunday.
There’s no question Collin Morikawa is a flusher, a term used to describe only the sweetest timers of a golf ball.
In 1974, the US Golf Association (USGA) powers that be introduced a mechanical golf ball tester. It was a robotic arm that replicated movements of a golf swing to test different golf clubs and balls by the exact same, repeated golf swing. They nicknamed the machine “Iron Byron”, a nod to legendary golfer Byron Nelson’s efficient swing. Nelson won five Major titles but is probably best remembered for 1945, a most remarkable year in golf when he won 18 tournaments on the PGA Tour, including 11 running.
While the Iron Byron was decommissioned in 1998, making way for more modern technology, it might be worth suggesting that they rename their new equipment “Metal Morikawa”, such is the machine-like swing of the new Open champion.
His swing is simple and effortless and, more often than not, brutally effective. He is ranked number one by some distance in the Strokes Gained Approach on the PGA Tour which, translated, means he hits his irons closer to the pin than any other player on the tour.
One could argue that Morikawa’s resemblance to the Iron Byron runs a little deeper. I’m not saying the American is dull or uninteresting, but let’s just say that if it’s flair you’re after, it’s unlikely Morikawa will provide it. Even his fist pump after winning the Open was somewhat measured.
Unlike Morikawa, the late Simon Hobday, another of the world’s great ball strikers, was a complete live wire who played with his heart on his sleeve.
Scruffy, eccentric and blessed with lightning quick wit, Hobday was a favourite among fans, if not rules officials. Everyone who ever played with him seems to have a Simon Hobday story. Most of them, even the outrageous ones, were true.
Hobbers was a notoriously inconsistent putter. In one tournament he tried to con the golfing gods by donning a widebrimmed hat, on the top of which he had written “David Frost”. After holing two long putts early on, he three-putted the third hole. “I knew it wouldn’t take you long to find me,” he said, looking to the sky.
Then there was the time he grew so fed up with his putter that he pulled out a red card and sent it off — snapping it in two. After the round, he tied the putter head to the bumper of his car and dragged it to the nearest pub, where he dumped the remains into a glass full of beer.
The very first event played at Sun City brought out the worst in Hobday. He was a bad enough putter on decent greens, but these were still new and very bumpy.
“It was Friday 13th, I was playing the 13th hole and I was 13 over par. I was not happy,” he explained.
So, after hitting his tee shot over the water, Hobday stripped down to his underwear and swam across the dam.
“I then put my shoes on, because you weren’t allowed to play barefoot, but I putted out in my rods.”
More famously, Hobday walked through a water hazard after his ball had miraculously bounced off the water and on to the green, leaving him a simple two-putt to win the 1985 Tournament of Champions on the Sunshine Tour.
Hobday’s antics, which often included remonstrating with the “Old Pro above” about his bad luck, tended to be lighthearted. “I had to do those kinds of things to relieve the pressure,” he said. “I was a bloody angry player and did more damage to myself than anything.”
His shenanigans were not limited to the golf course, however.
Once, when heading to Europe, Simon went to the SAA counter to check in.
“I’m flying to London,” he said. “But I want you to send my suitcase to Frankfurt, my golf bag to Paris and my tog bag to London.”
The lady behind the desk said, “I’m sorry sir, I can’t do that,” to which Hobday responded, “Why not? You did it last week?”
Another time, in the US, Hobday passed through a speed trap and was eventually pulled over by the cop. When Simon wound down the window, the cop said; “Son, I’ve been waiting all day for someone like you.”
To which Simon replied: “Hell, I’m sorry officer, I got here as quickly as I could!”
Hobday’s anecdotes masked the fact that he was one heck of a player, and highly underrated. Of his many worldwide wins, his most celebrated is the 1994 US Senior Open, which he won at Pinehurst. Even in victory he could laugh at himself, saying to a packed press room, “I was under terrible pressure. My swing deserted me, and the worse I swung, the worse I putted. I must have gone through at least two packs of cigarettes. At one point, I know I had two going at the same time.”
Oh, for the world of golf to have a little bit more Simon Hobday in it, and a little less Iron Byron.