I won’t bank online until robbers all wear eye-masks, carry ‘Swag’ bags
IGREW up in a comic book world where the ultra-rich characters like Scrooge McDuck and Richie Rich had enough money to wallow in. Literally diving into swimming pools filled with gold coins. The were robbed from time to time, naturally, but life was easier for the cops in those days because the robbers all wore black eye-masks and carried large bags clearly marked “Swag”. Modern robbers are far less obliging. I regularly read reports of huge frauds where companies have been robbed of billions, and not a swag-bag or eye mask anywhere in sight. It’s all done with a sneaky mind and computer keyboard.
This is why I am so hesitant to enter the great modern world of internet banking. I used to receive bunches of e-mail messages purporting to come from banks, saying things like: “There appears to have been some unusual activity in your bank account. Please let us have your details so we can follow this up and correct any errors.”
My electronically sussed friends warned me NEVER to touch them.
Now, however, I seem to be getting real notifications from the banks saying they are no longer sending me statements through the post and instead will post a monthly e-mail, for which I need to have a “user name” and password and sign up for something called an Adobe Reader.
I already have a name that works well for me. I do have a password for my computer, but apparently the bank doesn’t want that one. So I continue to live my slow, dinosaur life clutching my chequebook and drawing money from the slot machine when I need to buy cat food.
Some people look askance when I offer them a cheque, but so far none of mine has caused embarrassment.
With electronic statements I simply won’t know whether I have any money in the bank account because I don’t trust those machines. How do I know there isn’t a crook standing behind that ATM screen wearing an eye-mask and clutching a bag marked “Swag”?
If my ignorance lands me deep in financial doo doo and you see me on the street corner with a begging bowl, feel free to make a donation. You won’t even need a user name.
Last Laugh
A group of international tourists was visiting the Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe.
As they gazed in awe at the cascading water, one of the Zimbabwean guides turn to a man from Texas and said: “You’ve been telling how grand and big everything is in Texas, but I bet you don’t have anything like this back home.”
“No, you’re absolutely right,” said the Texan, “but we have a couple of pretty good Texan plumbers who could fix a leak like this in less than a day.”
021 782 3180 /
021 788 9560
dbiggs@glolink.co.za