Even the dead can bank on banks cold-calling them
IWAS amused to receive my annual letter from the bank, addressed to my late wife. It arrives every year at about this time and very kindly asks her whether she needs to come in and discuss her future financial plans. used to reply, sometimes rather sarcastically, because Liz passed away 16 years ago and that same bank acted as the executor of her estate.
Now I just shake my head in wonder and toss the letter into the bin.
If it amuses the bank to send letters to dead people who am I to spoil their fun?
Apparently it’s normal practice for banks to serve customers who have passed away.
A reader called the other day to tell me about a bizarre conversation he had had with somebody from his late father’s bank.
The caller asked: “Could I please speak to the late Mr Jones?” (No, seriously!)
The bemused reader answered: “I’m afraid the late Mr Jones can’t speak to you. He died a few months ago.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” said the bank genius. “Do you have his present address?”
Where do they find these idiots? Under stones?
Pigged out
I recently wrote a column complaining about the injustice to the big bad wolf in the fairy story about the three little pigs.
I was amazed to find there’s a whole groundswell of anti-pig sentiment out there. The BB Wolf has quite a fan club.
A column reader directed me the children’s book section of Amazon.com and there I found a whole list of titles like The True Story of the Three Little Pigs, and The Three Horrid Little Pigs. Not to mention The Wolf’s Story.
Other nursery tales have been updated too and I was hardly surprised to find a book called: Seriously, Cinderella Is So Annoying.
Maybe this trend is a good thing for children. It might show them there are two sides to most stories.
Many of my childhood heroes have been vilified by the present generation.
Rudyard Kipling, for example, wrote the most charming children’s stories and in his lifetime he was regarded as a celebrity in every corner of the British Empire and beyond.
Today he is looked on with scorn in some parts of the world and hated for his jingoist, racist, colonialist and several other “-ist” ideas.
I hope we get over this silliness and start reading his stories again. Children are delighted and amused by the story of how the elephant got its trunk and how the kangaroo developed those strong legs. And my favourite love story is The Butterfly that Stamped – all in Kipling’s collection of Just So Stories.
The language Kipling uses is pure poetry. Children resonate with it.
Don’t let your political correctness rob your children of these wonderful tales.
Last Laugh
A skunk, a deer and a duck went out to dinner together and after they had eaten the waiter brought their bill. “I don’t have a scent,” said the skunk. “I don’t have a buck,” said the deer. “Oh well,” sighed the duck, “I suppose we’d better put it on my bill.”