Right ingredients needed for one’s recipe for success

THE OTHER day I baked a pie. This is not an unusual event. I bake pies whenever I have left-over scraps I don’t know what to do with. Pie pastry is easy stuff to make – a scoop of flour, a dollop of butter, some salt, a little baking powder, maybe a splash of cold water and there your are.

Roll it out, wrap up the left-overs in and – voila! – you have a pie (bachelor style, that is).

But the pie I made the other day was sublime. The pastry was paper thin, golden brown and tasty. It had exactly the right flavour and texture to titillate the most fastidious palate. It was perfect.

The trouble is I shall probably never be able to make a pastry as good as that again. I didn’t have a notepad on which to write down the exact quantities I’d used.

Wine blenders know a difference of 2 percent of any component in the blend can make all the difference between a great wine and one that’s merely good.

It’s the same with baking. Just a smidgeon more salt, or sugar or a touch less baking powder or a different brand of butter and the final result will be completely different.

I imagine it’s the same with any scientific experiments or ground-breaking inventions. You have to keep notes because nine out of 10 of your experiments will end in the rubbish bin. That 10th one could make you a fortune, bring you fame or even a Nobel Prize.

It could also end up in the trash can because you didn’t write down the exact formula.

Just think of Thomas Edison fooling around with materials from which to make the filaments for light bulbs. “Crocodile fur?” Nah, too stinky. “Leather shoe laces?” Horrible smell. “Grandpas’s beard?” Nah, too much anger from Grandpa. “Carbon?” Hey, that seems to work. Jot it down. If he hadn’t made a note, the history of electric lighting might have been different.

“What was that stuff that glowed very brightly in the bulb?”

“I dunno. I thought you were writing it down. Pass me the candle so I can see if there’s a note somewhere.”

Alas, the recipe for the world’s most delicious pie pastry might be lost to posterity, and all because I failed to note down exactly what quantities of each ingredient used.

I shall probably spend the rest of my days searching for the perfect pastry recipe. When I do rediscover it, I hope to have it remembered in the international chef ’s vocabulary as “Crusto du Biggs” or something equally memorable.

Watch your back, Jamie Oliver, here I come!

Last Laugh

Overheard in the pub: “You know, alcohol really is good for you. My Grandpa used to drink a bottle of brandy every day of his life and he lived to the age of 104.” “That’s amazing. Where is he buried?” “He was not buried. They cremated him and it took three fire engines to put out the blaze.”