Ho, hum… fresh challenge to ‘dry town’ status

OH DEAR, here we go again. I believe the Pick n Pay store in Fish Hoek has applied for a bottle store licence. This is sure to raise some dust in our town. Traditionally Fish Hoek has been a “dry town” for more than a century. The story goes that the transport drivers who were taking supplies to the ships in Simon’s Town used to stop overnight in what is now Fish Hoek. They were often sold liquor of dubious quality but undoubted alcoholic strength.

As a result they sometimes set off the following morning in a rather ragged condition and were likely to lose control of their mule wagons on the rocky route to Simon’s Town. Legend has it that several wagon loads of precious supplies ended up in the sea.

When the land was divided into plots, one of the conditions of sale was that no liquor was to be sold in the new village. This was written into every deed of sale.

When I arrived in the town 40 years ago, the rule was strictly observed and the local restaurants served only non-alcoholic drinks. I liked this as it meant we could bring our own bottles of plonk and save a bit on the price of the evening.

That’s been tweaked over the years and restaurants can now serve liquor. It is still illegal, however, to retail booze on its own. We have no bottle stores in our town.

It’s really no hardship. We can buy booze in nearby Kalk Bay, or Glencairn or Sun Valley, all a few minutes away by car. If we’re seriously thirsty, there are pubs.

From time to time people have eyed Fish Hoek as a potential market for alcohol, but on each occasion there’s been a local referendum and the idea has been roundly rejected. The Defenders of Fish Hoek like to keep things the way they are.

Frankly, so do I. The fact that it’s illegal to sell booze in the town makes it different from other places and we’re all looking for a “USP”, or Unique Selling Point these days. Maybe being a “dry town” is our USP.

I’ve seen people sitting on the pavements or park benches in neighbouring suburbs on Saturday mornings, swigging wine straight from the bottle and behaving in a rather uncouth manner. Particularly in matters of hygiene. I don’t think we need that in our town. I will be watching developments with interest.

Last Laugh

Way past midnight a drunk was on his knees under a street lamp, searching for something in the gutter.

“What are you looking for?” a friendly passer-by asked him.

“My watch fell off and I’m trying to find it,” came the reply.

The helpful man joined the search and after a while he said: “Exactly where did your watch fall off ?”

The drunk pointed down the street. “About half a block from here,” he mumbled.

“Well, why aren’t you looking for the watch back there?”

“That would be pointless,” replied the drunk. “It’s pitch dark back there.”