‘He has taught me about second chances’

WHEN you’re a single parent, your decision to date someone is not limited to how this impacts on you, but also how introducing a new partner will impact on the life of your child.

I had my biggest blessing appear when I was 19 when I had my daughter, Jordan. Jordan’s father and I tried to stay together for her, but eventually we parted ways because he said that I was too focused on our daughter and never had time for him.

Rearing Jordan was not a task without challenges, but it has always been rewarding. Whenever I started a new relationship, I was apprehensive to introduce my partner to Jordan in fear that they would leave later on and cause inconsistencies about the men in her life. Over the years, my main priority has always been Jordan so I was never actively looking for a special someone.

Being alone got lonely and I involved myself with men who only disappointed me. I put everything in the relationship, only to be tossed aside when a better woman or opportunity came along. If we didn’t split for that reason, it was because I didn’t give them enough attention. I would shower them with gifts, concern, advice and love – only to receive half the time they had and little affection.

However, someone did come along. Our relationship was blossoming and for the first time in a long time, I had someone who made me happy and who I made happy, but I should have known it was a facade. After two years, he started to visit me late at night, and with his history of being unfaithful, I was suspicious. After reading a few messages, my suspicions were confirmed. Coupled with a terrible work environment and loneliness, I was diagnosed with depression.

I decided to keep fighting for life but the fight for love was lost. I decided that marriage was not for me. My sister insisted that if I met the right person, I would change my mind – but after years of it being just Jordan and me, I thought it highly unlikely. I didn’t know how right she’d be.

I met Clement at a time I least expected and at a place I would never have thought. He was a musician and he would regularly visit at our home as my father and he would “jam”, but I didn’t notice him until years later when he attended a parent meeting at an NPO organisation at which I’m involved.

He had access to my number and messaged me, but I thought it was for purposes of the NPO, until the messages became more regular and I missed them on the day I didn’t receive them. He came over to my place to “quote” me on cupboards he was supposed to make, and ever since then I have seen him every day.

Our relationship has been a whirlwind, the love coming thick and fast and making me dizzy. I feel like a schoolgirl, I’m so in love. At last I have found someone who appreciates my commitment to my child and wants to be part of our lives, as he understands that we are a package. Our relationship has taught me that it’s important to make time for me so that when I’m happy, I can be a better mother to Jordan. He has taught me to prioritise myself along with Jordan. He has taught me to have faith in love again. He has taught me the meaning of second chances.

After two months of dating, On Saturday, December 31 last year, Clement popped the question and, without a doubt, there was a positive response from me.

Together our relationship has defied all odds, both from broken families; him with one failed marriage behind him and me with many failed relationships – we have learnt from this relationship to love again. For us, this is a second chance at not only love, but life, and I cannot wait to see what’s in store when we start our journey as husband and wife in November.

Winning this prize for my fiancé would be perfect just to show him my gratitude for all he’s done for me!