Our public figures should learn the art of repartee

RECENTLY, Mayor Patricia de Lille, in a patriotic appeal for the Western Cape to save water, exhorted us thus: Save water: Shower shorter.” Our response could justifiably be: “Okay, Ma’am. But give a dam.”

But we do not have a platform from which to respond to her directly. We are expected to conform to measures that hide the ineptitude of those who rule. Crisis management seems to be the order of the day. She isn’t asked to defend the poor planning and pathetic management of our dwindling resources. Not privately or within plain sight of a world-audience.

But not many people can ignore the slings and arrows that have been flung at two separate presidents on two separate continents over the past few weeks.

In America, Donald Trump’s wall, immigration and gender policies had the marchers out in their numbers.

At home, the State of the Nation address provided the annual circus for “honourable” members to usurp a democratic process. They unashamedly promoted their own slanted agendas in ways that were far from honourable.

I am surprised no one has yet, in response to the repeated pleas for “order”, called out: “Spare ribs and chips, with two fried eggs, sunny side up. Easy on the onions.”

One needs to underline the basic truth that disapproval of policy or personality is not a licence for abandoning good conduct. One might disapprove of the office-bearer, but one has to respect the office.

We have to learn that one can express disapprobation without raising one’s voice. Rather raise the argument. A truth does not depend on volume for its veracity. Once a point of doubt has been raised, mindless repetition reduces effect.

Our public figures should learn the art of repartee. I will quote an example. A speaker addresses a crowd of 500 people: “Half of you out there are idiots and jackasses.” An audience member objects and demands a retraction. The speaker rephrases instantly. “Half of you are not idiots and jackasses.”

There is a wealth of such clever responses to anyone who takes the time to look them up. They take the sting out of confrontation.

The point is, the people who can assign us to economic oblivion are listening, as are potential investors who are sitting with their gold fountain pens poised above their cheque books.

We need them to sign and set us up for economic recovery. Clearly, they are waiting for some show of good governance, tolerance and creditable action from our government.

Sadly, Parliament has devolved into the public lambasting of a person rather than a principle. As such, it would be an idea to have the Sona broadcast from some secure place in future.

It is unlikely members of Parliament will harass or heckle a public address system. Following this, the president could still be expected to defend his claims, promises and proposals for the way forward during the two days set aside for this purpose.