Risking health for love isn’t worth it

STIs also reason to have safe sex, writes Vuyo Mkize

YOUNG and in love, the last thing Zoleka* thought would come from her relationship was a sexually transmitted infection (STI). Although the signs and suspicion had been there that her then boyfriend had numerous dalliances with other women, the then-20-year-old had no idea her health and future would be on the line because of him.

“When I was 20 and in a relationship, I noticed a discharge which was yellow and smelly… the doctor confirmed my suspicions and gave me pills, but the hard part was telling my boyfriend because he had to get medical attention, too,” she told Independent Media.

The now-26-year-old finally plucked up courage to tell her ex-boyfriend – a confession that ultimately led to accusations of infidelity on her part.

“Finally he admitted to cheating and I was hurt, but he took a big step of testing for HIV and fortunately the results came back negative. I was happy because he took responsibility for his actions and things went well but, down the line, he went back to his old ways and… I broke up with him,” she said.

Zoleka was sharing her story in light of STI/Condom Week this week, which is commemorated nationally to raise awareness on the importance of protecting onself sexually by using protection such as condoms to avoid STIs.

A sexually transmitted infection, or STI, according to The South African Medical Association (Sama) is a disease (bacteria, virus, or parasite), usually passed from one person to another, through sexual activity.

STIs can subsequently be transmitted from mother to child during birth, blood transfusions, and from sharing needles in hypodermic syringes.

STIs include chlamydia, genital warts, genital herpes, gonorrhoea, syphilis, hepatitis B and HIV.

Sexually transmitted infections remain a significant issue in South Africa with more needed to be done to deal with this issue.

“When one looks at the problem, we realise we still have a long way to go. For example, HIV/ Aids prevalence is still unacceptably high in many provinces and as such, the observance of Condom Week is an important reminder that we need to protect ourselves,” said Dr Mzukisi Grootboom, the chairperson of the South African Medical Association (Sama.)

Sipho*, 30, on the other hand, admitted when asked that he slept around with women without using condoms.

“I was seeing two ladies at the same time… I had a girlfriend and a

(another woman) on the other side,” he said.

On one occasion after having sex with his side-girlfriend, he realised the condom had broken.

“Two things raced through my mind: HIV and unplanned pregnancy... I got her some morning after pills and soon forgot about the incident. Well, that was until I noticed some itchy and burning sensation on my penis when urinating,” he continued.

Dreading testing for HIV, yet still in pain during each trip to urinate, he eventually decided to go to Hilbrow Clinic in Johannesburg. He was diagnosed as having an STI and was given three injections and pills and instructed to use condoms. But even that didn’t sway him.

“I also knowingly slept with another lady, without using a condom, while knowing full well that I had the disease. She, too, caught it and phoned me a few weeks later… I actually felt bad about it, but I had already resolved in my mind that if I had been infected with HIV/Aids, I would certainly not die alone,” Sipho said.

“Being the player that I was, I had also slept with my other girlfriend, but I used protection on her, but hey, I didn’t enjoy the sex at all.” he said.

“When it came to ejaculation, instead of screaming with joy, I actually felt like my whole penis was on fire. That was before I went… for treatment.”

While Zoleka said that in hindsight, she realised she risked her health for a man who was “a silly crush”.

“He was never really worth my time... and now I know better,” she said.

According to the Gauteng Department of Health’s spokesman, Steve Mabona: “In 2015/16 financial year, 204 537 clients were treated for new STI episode when compared to 185 084 clients in the financial year 2014/15. There was a gradual decrease in new STI episodes from April 2016 to December 2016 where 173 659 clients have been treated.”

He said that in the 2015/16 financial year, 209 703 004 million male and 7 744 719m female condoms were distributed at public health facilities.

Zoleka, who is from the Eastern Cape, also decried what she said was “judgmental and rude” service she received from a public clinic before going to a private doctor. She said the nurses there “all shouted at me of how irresponsible and stupid I was”.

“I believe you should receive treatment and not judgment,” she said.