Older generation blamed for hatred
I GREW up for the most part in the southern suburbs of Joburg in the ’60s and ’70s as an Afrikaans-speaking child.
My grandparents’ generation and to a lesser extent my parents’ generation were still smarting from the effects of the Anglo-Boer war on Afrikaner society. They tried to keep the hurts and hatred alive by telling us horrific stories of the atrocities committed by the British governments in South Africa and the British military specifically against civilian Afrikaners and encouraging us not to forget the oppression and violence.
Similar things happened between other groups in the suburbs. Afrikaners, English, Lebanese, Portuguese, Dutch, Italians and Greeks, with a smattering of Scandinavians and White Russians were all leery of each other and used unpleasant (racist) epithets for each other. We were a divided society.
However, the children started played together in the street, went to the same schools, and started dating and marrying each other.
Our parents started mixing with different nationalities in workplaces. Even our grandparents started reluctantly greeting culturally diverse neighbours out of courtesy.
I remember my grandfather, a Portuguese-phobe, greeting the older Portuguese granny next door each day when he walked past, even though she could speak no English or Afrikaans and he could speak no Portuguese.
The hurts faded and gradually the horror stories were mentioned less frequently in favour of practical living present advice. Eventually they stopped completely, and the community cohered.
This did not eradicate the hurtful memories, as they were still mentioned from time to time, but without the earlier rancour and without the admonition to the younger generations to continue to harbour hate and distrust and to never forget.
From personal experience then, I sense that as far as public and private rhetoric goes, accelerated cohesion will only take place when the older generation, on all sides, especially those who were undeniably hurt by policies and practices in the past, stop trying to keep old hurts and hatreds alive to validate their feelings, but rather encourage their children and grandchildren to make the most of every opportunity available to them to build a meaningful future.