Taking the water shortage without a pinch of salt

IN CHARLES Dickens’s time the English had a strange notion about education. Apparently they believed knowledge could be hammered into children through the seats of their trousers. “You stupid boy! I will beat you until you get the whole of the seven-times table right.” I don’t think the system instilled a love of learning in many of the children. Oddly enough the Cape Town City Council seems to have adopted the Dickensian model for solving the current water shortage.

“We will punish all you naughty ratepayers until the water shortage goes away – even if you use no water at all.”

For the past three months, I have been particularly careful about my water consumption. Most of my friends have done the same. I have used buckets of bath water to flush my toilet. I have connected a hose to the outlet from by bathroom, so the grey water runs into my little bed of herbs. I collect the rinsing water from the kitchen sink and carry it out to water my pots of remaining plants. My patch of grass has died and the cats are grateful for the extra sized sandbox where the flowerbed used to be.

For three months in a row my water bill has been zero. I thought the city council might be quite pleased about that.

Instead I am being punished. Apparently I will now receive a monthly punitive water bill whether I use any or not.

I don’t think this approach will relieve the water shortage any more effectively than a whippings on the bum taught arithmetic. I suppose it makes the people in charge feel they’re doing something.

In fact, it’s driving many water consumers underground. Literally. A friend of mine told me over the weekend that he had installed a well-point and pump in a gesture of defiance to the municipality and added that the well-point people had bragged they were doing more business than ever before.

Instead of beating ratepayers on their collective bottoms, maybe the city councillors should take a look at the Israeli model of desalination of sea water. Our abundant water is full of salt. Take out the salt and we’d be in the swim.

Desalinated sea water now provides most of Israel’s water and Israeli engineers are installing desalination plants in Southern California and other parts of the world.

The Sorek plant in Israel produces 627 000m3 of fresh water a day and modern technology and materials have reduced the costs to an acceptable level.

It can be done – even without resorting to whipping bums. But I suppose we all get our kicks in different ways.

Last Laugh

When her husband came to visit her in the maternity ward after the birth of their first child, the mother was enormously proud.

One of the doctors was passing by and the proud mum held up her baby next to his dad and said: “Look, doctor. Don’t you think he is just the image of his father?”

The doctor had a look and said: “Yes, he is. But don’t worry – as long as he’s healthy.”