The chips are down, writes David Biggs

WE ARE all very quick to complain about our politicians’ corruption and theft from the public purse. This is a matter of grave concern to all of us who pay our taxes and expect better service. Meanwhile, we are being ripped off in just as heartless a fashion by the supermarket chains. Just like the government the retailers give us endless lies about looking after the poor and giving us the best deals and keeping the household budget low and all that guff.

Meanwhile, the prices creep up in the sneakiest ways.

I have a wooden bowl that’s known in my household as the “chip bowl”. It is exactly the right size to hold a packet of crisps and is filled and set out when I have guests to drinks. Or it used to be.

Last week I emptied a bag of potato crisps into it and was alarmed to see it was nowhere near filled.

I scratched my head in puzzlement and then looked at the empty chip packet. It said 110gm. I had an older bag of the same brand of chips and they were labelled 125gm. The price was about the same, so the producers had simply stolen 15gm of chips from me without so much as a “by your leave”.

My guests were as angry as I was. Fifteen grams of chips is no big deal in the greater scheme of things, but did the seller think we wouldn’t notice the theft?

We agreed that 110gm is a ridiculous amount is any case. For goodness sake, make it 100gm and bring down the price, or increase the packet size to 150gm and charge a bit more. But 110gm is just a sneaky little thieving amount. In the same way the little bags of chips have slyly shrunk to 36gm – 36g! – another silly size.

I was equally enraged to find my cats’ favourite sachets of soft food had increased in price by about 20%. That’s a significant amount and was sneaked in without warning.

Over the past year I’ve heard many people complaining that the size of chocolate bars had come sneaking down. The price remains the same, but feel the packet. It contains an awful lot of air. Expensive air, at that. This is not only dishonest marketing, but it makes things difficult for cooks who use recipes that say: “Grate two chocolate bars into the mixture,” and then wonder why their cookies don’t taste as good as they did before.

Come on, retailers, it’s bad enough that our so-called leaders are stealing our money. That shouldn’t give you an excuse to steal our food.

Last Laugh

A newspaper columnist dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. St Peter tells him he can choose between Heaven and Hell.

First they visit Hell and the writer sees hundreds of people chained to desks and tapping away endlessly at keyboards. It looks pretty grim.

Then they visit Heaven and to the man’s surprise they see hundreds of people chained to their desks and tapping away at keyboards. It looks equally grim. “So what the difference?” the writer asks. “Up here you actually get published,” says St Peter.