Ways parents can encourage children to be curious

ON A RECENT Saturday, my husband and I were headed out to compete in what we fondly refer to as the “Suburb Olympics” – grocery shopping, drycleaning drop off, hockey practice. We hadn’t even backed out of the driveway when our 5-year-old started his standard rapid-fire line of questioning.

“Can ashes from a volcano burn you?” “Can a great white shark kill you?” “What’s your favourite farm animal? Mine is a goat.”

This is a regular occurrence and one we find generally amusing, if a bit exhausting.

“It’s maddening, isn’t it?” I whispered. My husband looked at me.

“It’s fascinating you don’t see it,” he said. “When I first met you, I thought no one had ever been as interested in me as you. It didn’t take long to realise you are just that curious about everything. It’s the thing I love most about you.” “That’s so sweet,” I said. “I’d give anything if you’d stop asking so many questions during movies, though.” Fair enough.

To me, curiosity is necessary. It is a trait I admire in others, and one I nurture in myself. My desire to learn has become more pronounced with age, and it’s a characteristic I am desperate for my three children to have. I want them to be the ones constantly asking questions, seeking more knowledge. I don’t want them to be the pretentious know-it-all who believes they are the smartest person in the room. We all know one of those. No one wants to be around that guy.

These questions our son asks are draining at times, yes. But even worse than a child who asks 47 questions on a 10-minute car ride would be a child who asks none at all.

Alas, we have one of those too. On a recent trip, my daughter’s most frequent question was, “What’s the wi-fi password?”

“Of course,” one could say, “she’s a 13-year-old girl.” And while I’ll give her some slack on this rope of life, it will likely be enough for her to hang herself if she doesn’t eventually look up.

While some curiosity is innate, it is a trait that must be continuously fostered. Inquisitiveness ebbs and flows, depending on our age, life stage and the company we keep. This is both reassuring (in the case of my daughter) and cumbersome. Parents can play an active role in cultivating a child’s ability to ask questions and seek answers, but doing that requires persistence.

Here are ways to foster an inquisitive spirit in your child.

When your child asks you a question, don’t immediately answer. Encourage them to find the answer themselves. Point them in an age-appropriate direction to help them build confidence by finding answers on their own.

Answer a question with a question. When my son asked if ashes from a volcano can burn you, I asked if he thought they could. He said he definitely thought they could burn you, so you shouldn’t build your house right next to a volcano.

Give your children learning assignments. When an older child asks for something – a sleepover, money for new clothes, a later bedtime – have them research a historically significant person before they can get the desired item or activity. Have the child write about what motivated the person to become great.

Play a game of “Would You Rather”. Pose either-or questions to your child, such as “Would you rather be SpiderMan or Batman? Spend the night sleeping in the rain or the snow?” Or my husband’s personal favourite, “Would you rather fight 10 horse-sized ducks or 1 duck-sized horse?” And so on and so on, always asking why they chose their answer. An added bonus: this can distract kids from beating on each other in the back seat during long car journeys.

These small steps can help jumpstart conversations and get children thinking for themselves. Answers to many of their questions are at the tip of our children’s fingers, courtesy of internet search engines.

But a few little changes can help cultivate an environment where learning becomes fun, and they are thinking critically and independently, coming up with their own answers. – Washington Post

Scagell is a freelance writer and mother based in Minnesota. Find her on Twitter @74AMB.

Inquisitiveness ebbs and flows, depending on our age, life stage and the company we keep