Froggie, Mouse, Gogga better names than Baby

IT’S frightening how the number of child murders and rapes seems to be increasing – or are there simply more of them being reported? Are we becoming a nation of monsters? It’s particularly horrible because the adults of any species are supposed to nurture and protect the young. This is nature’s way of providing for the survival of the species, so child abuse is a serious threat to our very existence.

I wonder whether some of the blame for this can be laid at the door of the popular music industry.

We sing along with the popular tunes and seldom pay must attention to the words we’re singing. Have you ever considered how often the singers refer to “my baby” when they really mean “my lover” or “my sweetheart”?

“Baby” doesn’t even rhyme very well with anything else, apart from “maybe,” but the song writers manage to slip the word in everywhere, often having to twist it grotesquely to fit into the tune: “Bay-yaybee-yee.”

Any dictionary will tell you a baby is: “A new-born or very young human or mammal. An infant.”

So here we are, decade after decade, singing words like: “I wanna make love to my baby,” and “When I kiss my baby,” and “Walkin’ my baby back home,” or Whitney Houston singing “I’m your baby tonight,” and the Dells singing the rather suggestive: “Give your baby a standing ovation.”

There are hundreds of songs titles like that and many more that include rather explicit suggestions in the lyrics – all referring to “my baby”.

If we can casually sing along about the things we would like to do with a baby, are we not perhaps becoming just a little casual about the treatment of real babies?

I’m not claiming to be an authority on human behaviour, but I thought I’d drop the idea into the column for readers’ consideration.

I may be a bit over-sensitive, but I can’t help feeling a little squeamish when I hear some of the things singers would like to do to their babies.

At the same time, perhaps we could take a look at the use of “Baby” as a pet name for a girlfriend or wife?

Isn’t it just a wee bit demeaning? Does it imply helplessness? Inability to look after oneself ? I feel better about Darling, Sweetheart, Honey, Love or that rather delightful German endearment, “Schatzi,” which means Little Treasure. The Afrikaans version is the charming

Of course there are thousands of other pet names couples use for each other – Froggie, Mouse, Gogga , Fluffy – and all of them are better than Baby.

Just a thought.

Last Laugh

Jim was always borrowing things and not returning them. Eventually his neighbour, Sam became sick of it.

The next time Jim leaned over the fence and shouted: “Sam, will you be using your lawn mower today?” Sam decided he’d had enough. “Yes, I will be using it,” he said firmly. “Oh great,” said Jim, “then you won’t be needing your tennis racquet.”