Mating ritual has many benefits, and euphemisms

WE SEEM to agree that English is a strange and complicated language, but have you noticed how many euphemisms there are for the human mating ritual? In former times couples went “courting” and the man “wooed” the woman. I find that rather sweet and elegant. Courtly love was the term used for elegant and public dating.

When I was a student we “dated” the girl of our dreams. We also had a strange word for dating. We said Sue and Jim were “cased”.

I was asked the other day whether two of my friends were “an item”. I guess that meant were they courting, dating or wooing. I heard somebody ask of another friend: “Are you seeing Jane now?” Seeing is sort of unobtrusive, I think. Obviously we see a whole lot of people in our daily lives but that doesn’t mean we are “seeing” them, if you know what I mean, nudge-nudge. We also talk about couples “going out” together, which is a definite euphemism because what we really mean is they’re probably spending a lot of time staying in together.

It’s the same as saying two people are “sleeping together” when sleeping is probably the one thing they are definitely not doing together.

I have also heard people refer to each other as being “friends with benefits”.

I suppose there are so many English expressions for the mating ritual because there are so many degrees of intimacy and permanence available to us, from a casual coffee date or the “one-night stand” that usually happens completely by surprise and often involves alcohol, via an invitation to “meet the folks”, to an official engagement announcement with a diamond ring included and a notice in the local newspaper, all parts of the ritual designed to make it as difficult as possible to change your mind and back out. It’s difficult to imagine any one word that covers the whole spectrum. Maybe it’s not English that’s so complicated. Maybe it’s life.

Computer trap

I was interested to read a bitter letter in the Weekend Argus. The writer complained the only way it was possible to enrol at UCT’s Summer School was via e-mail. If this is so, it’s rather unfair on those who do not own or have the use of computers.

We have become so accustomed to accepting the world runs on the internet it’s easy to forget there are still people who rely on pre-electronic technology. They would probably include the elderly or the very poor, who still rely on pencils and paper.

It seems a little unkind to exclude them from a valuable learning experience.

Last Laugh

Two students were chatting in the cafeteria and the one asked: “How’s your history thesis coming along?”

“Pretty well, actually. My professor suggested I use the internet for my research and it’s certainly helped.” “Found plenty of useful information, have you?” “Oh yes! So far I’ve found 14 people who sell history theses.”