Another reason women wear the pants in our city
I’VE had a number of comments about my column on women’s trousers. It seems it’s the Cape of Storms’ violent weather that makes trousers the standard women’s wear here. Brenda wrote from Pinelands: “Have you ever felt the wind-chill factor embrace your nether regions? Or the Cape Doctor whip your skirt over your face like a World War blackout curtain?”
She has a good point. It would be a dangerous venture to try crossing Adderley Street in a skirt during a full-on south-easter.
As to the chill factor, the only time I have worn anything like a skirt was when I was in the school pipe band and we had to march in kilts to attend church parades in the city square.
Grahamstown summers can get extremely hot and there were always a couple of bandsmen from our rivals, Kingswood College, who fainted in the heat after standing to attention for half-an-hour. They wore heavy guardsmen-type uniforms – buttoned up red jackets and black flannel trousers with a red stripe down the sides.
On very hot parade days they toppled like skittles. The sound of a euphonium clattering on to a church square is unforgettable.
We, on the other hand, had the relief of having our “nether regions” untrousered and free under the kilt in the fresh air.
Pipers very seldom toppled over during the parade. We were quite smug about it. There was also the thought that if you did happen to faint while wearing a kilt, your “nether regions” would end up on full display, so we had an extra incentive to remain upright.
My daughter wrote from Canada, saying they (teachers) had had the principal’s beginning-of-term talk advising them to dress in a style that retains the dignity of the profession. Apparently it’s called “casual professional”. The choice of pants or skirts is at the discretion of the teacher but they should at least add a jacket. Sweat pants and yoga pants are totally forbidden and I can understand why. It would be like allowing male teachers into the classroom in Lycra cycling shorts (possibly the most hideous male garment created).
I have still not completely sorted out the phrase “smart casual” which appears on many invitations these days. Maybe a smart jacket with casual pants. Tie or no tie?
Definitely no tie! A tie is the silly equivalent of Lycra cycling shorts. It serves no purpose other than to collect dribbled gravy. If we knew in advance what was on the menu we could select a tie to match the sauce. “Béchamel! Ah. I’ll wear the yellow tie tonight.”
Last Laugh
A teenage boy was strolling down the mall with a friend who commented on his way-out dress sense.
He was wearing a nose ring, spiked hair, baggy camo trousers, combat boots and a blanket pin through his ear. His T-shirt message said: “Screw the whales.” “You look really cool!” his friend said. “Actually, I think it’s pretty stupid,” said the boy, “but at least it stops my parents wanting to take me everywhere with them.”