Our drivers aren’t ready for nagging and driverless cars
THERE’S been much speculation about driverless cars in the news recently. To some people, the idea of getting into your car and saying, “car, take me to the office”, then sitting back and reading the newspaper, is an attractive one. I find it appalling. I like to be in control when I drive. Fortunately, driverless cars are still a long way from reality in South Africa.
Our roads (especially in the Cape) may be among the best in the world, but our drivers must certainly be among the worst. I don’t think even the most complex computer system could navigate safely through our chaotic traffic.
I had an alarming reminder of this while driving along the Baden Powell coast road from Muizenberg to Stellenbosch. There was a long line of vehicles travelling in each direction at about 70km/h, more or less bumper to bumper, when an idiot suddenly swerved out of the oncoming line and came hurtling towards me on the wrong side of the road.
He came so close to our line of traffic that his rearview mirror actually smacked into mine, shattering it with a huge bang. He didn’t even slow down.
The driver behind me flashed his lights and we both pulled over and stopped to catch our breath, still shaking with fright. He said we were lucky not to have been wiped out. I agreed.
It all happened so quickly that I did not even have time to identify the make of car, let alone see the registration number. I don’t think even the smartest driverless car could have avoided that bash.
Cars are getting more and more nanny-like these days, and most modern cars need only steerers, not drivers. Even my little bakkie nags me constantly. Beeps and pings and flashing dashboard lights tell me my seat belt is not fastened (Hey, give me a chance! I haven’t even settled down), my handbrake is on, my airbag is ready to pop, the doors are not locked, the child-proof lock is not activated… nag, nag, nag.
A friend travelled to Knysna recently to buy a restored MINI bakkie with no bells and whistles.
It has manual window winders, no central locking, no airbags, no electronic ignition system or automatic choke. It has no ABS braking system or power steering, no automatic gears.
He loves it because he actually has to drive it. It assumes he knows what he’s doing and doesn’t need to be nagged every few seconds.
Wow, a car that actually treats the driver as an adult, whatever will they think of next?
The first MINI rolled off the assembly line in 1959. It heralded a new chapter in motoring.
Modern MINIs have all the nanny features, are twice as big and are probably designed to be steered, rather than driven.
Only the badge remains true to Alec Issigonis’s original idea.
Last Laugh
A police dog handler parked his police van, and the dog in the back barked. A small boy came up, intrigued, and asked: “Is that a dog you have in the back?” “Yes, it is,” said the cop. “Gee,” said the lad. “What did it do?”