Panic in the face of endless development
ISOMETIMES wonder whether the various municipal departments of greater Cape Town ever talk to each other. I look around the city and see huge developments happening everywhere, and this is meant to show us how vibrant and alive our beautiful city is. It certainly is, too. But when I read the statistics I begin to panic a little.
From time to time I drive past Steenberg in the Constantia area and am shocked at the size of the construction going up there. Two monster cranes tower above what was, until recently, a quiet farming region with a country-style restaurant and chickens pecking about under the tables.
When the project is completed it will include shops and high-rise luxury apartments. The dams in the Constantia valley are as empty as the rest of the Cape’s dams, but the developers seem confident that we will find the extra water somewhere. Did they consult the Department of Water Affairs?
Up in the Bo-Kaap in the central business district, and in the V&A Waterfront and at several other sites in the city, huge residential blocks are being built. Out here in the southern peninsula the site of an old marine oil factory is being converted into another monstrous shopping and apartment complex.
City officials tell us from time to time that all these developments will boost tourism and bring more money to our city. At the same time we are using the existing water supplies faster than the dams are being replenished by the meagre rains. The city warns us to use water extremely carefully. We’re now under “level 5” water restrictions, so we are almost reduced to bathing in our left-over tea dregs.
But if we are planning to attract hordes of tourists to the city we will have to find a great deal of extra water for them. Tourists are not likely to bother too much about our “level 5” restrictions. They’re paying a lot of real money – pounds and dollars and euros – for their accommodation and they’ll want plenty of hot water in their hotel rooms for bathing.
But we carry on regardless, creating more and more accommodation for our visitors with little regard to where their baths will come from.
Our mayor assures us there will be plenty of water soon, but doesn’t say where it will come from.
We’re going to be a rather stinky old town one day when we’re overrun by unwashed tourists.
Either that, or we will have lots of clean tourists walking around wearing gas masks to protect them against stinky locals.
Last Laugh
Two friends were discussing a colleague they considered to be not terribly bright.
“Do you know,” said the first, “Jimmy is so dof that when he comes to work his wife always packs his lunch in a box with a see-through lid.” “Really?” said his companion. “Why is that?” “It’s so when he’s on the train he just needs to look at the box to see whether he’s going to work or coming home.”