For some peace and quiet, give me rush-hour traffic anytime

THINGS have been rather inconvenient around here, what with major roadworks in front of my house and frequent stop/ go systems in operation. I have often had to wait for a long queue of vehicles to get moving before I could enter or leave my driveway.

Earlier this week a new element was introduced into the traffic mix. A family of six whales came cruising into the bay and started performing close inshore just off Sunny Cove rocks.

It may sound an odd and rather silly thing to say, but whales are actually a regular traffic hazard in this corner of the peninsula. Motorists tend to take their eyes off the road and stare out to sea when they catch a glimpse of a huge whale tail smacking the sea a few metres from the road. It’s an awesome sight. But it does cause an unusually high number of tail-ender bumps.

Then everything comes to a halt as the two drivers get out of their vehicles and exchange apologies and addresses.

The other thing the whales cause is that people leap out of their cars without any warning and line the roadside, pointing their cameras (everybody has a camera these days) out to sea and shout “ooh!” whenever part of a whale surfaces.

On Tuesday I was attracted to my window by a symphony of sounds.

There was the clatter of the road drills and front-end loaders, the trumpeting of the whales, the crunch of car bumpers colliding and the pedestrians’ shouts of “ooh!” all happening together.

Not much actual construction work was accomplished, as people leaped across the trench that had been dug to get a better view of the whales and the workmen down in the trench got an unusual low-angle view of pedestrians flying overhead on their way to the walkway.

I should add that I had the best view of all, if you don’t mind my bragging. You couldn’t see a circus like that for any sort of money.

From my stoep I could see the whales from a high viewpoint, watch the traffic chaos down below me and hear the whole cacophony as whale hoots, car hoots, workmen’s curses and pedestrian screams blended into a merry melody.

All it needed was a couple of popcorn vendors, but I suspect they were somewhere down the road, stuck in the traffic jam.

Friends sometimes remark it must be very peaceful living so far out of the city.

Peaceful? Not really. Occasionally I take a scooter ride to the V&A Waterfront in rush-hour, just for a little boredom.

Last Laugh

After some expensive hormone therapy a 72-year–old woman gave birth to a baby. It was hailed as a medical miracle and soon reporters and TV crews arrived at her home to interview the elderly mother.

She came out and answered their questions, but what they wanted was to photograph the miracle baby.

“Not yet,” she said and continued to chat.

After a while the reporters became restless and insisted on seeing the baby.

“Not yet,” she said. ”You’ll just have to wait until the baby cries.” “Why?” they asked. “Because I can’t remember where I left him.”