Living Knei-deep in another culture
Coming to the Baxter Theatre after a successful run in Sandton, is the deeply personal, but equally hilarious love and life story of actress Chantal Stanfield and her musical maestro hubby, RJ Benjamin.
The show, aptly titled From Koe’siestes to Kneidlach, is a production penned by Stanfield on her real-life experiences of marrying into a completely different community.
The pair, Benjamin and Stanfield, have preferred to keep their private life exactly that – private– but have allowed for bits and pieces of it on social media. This show however, describes the relationships between the married couple and their in-laws, navigating the differences and embracing their new lives. Chatting to Tonight, Stanfield explained that she came to the point where she was ready to share a version of her life, but then she realised how different their lives were and the experience of living in this difference.
“The intention was never for this to happen. That was not the point of this relationship at all. As we realised the differences we had in culture and religion, all these things kept coming up and I made notes about them on my phone, with the intention of maybe one day doing something about it,” she said.
When that one day eventually came, she penned a show about her experiences.
“The experiences kept coming; they were eyeopening and earth-shattering. That’s when I thought that I cannot actually keep this story to myself. I thought it was too important a story to not share in some way.
“It was a soul-searching experience because I had to keep the real relationships side of it private, which I think I have managed to do, but still share the things that came up. The kind of things that many other couples go through when they cross the lines of relationships.
“Even in the audience (when the show was on stage), I saw many people whose lives were reflected by what was on stage. In my personal life, I know a handful of couples who are mixed. Those are the couples I spoke to leading up to writing this piece,” she said.
Theirs is a whirlwind story that began over some tweets, and ended up with them tying the knot. But living through their differences would prove to be interesting and challenging at the best of times.
Stanfield cites, as part of the inspiration for her show, incidents like one of those shared by a friend of hers of Xhosa and coloured lineage who married into a Jewish family.
“Somebody said to her face that they hoped that the baby would not come out looking too dark. Or that the hair wasn’t too curly. We have such a lack of tact as a nation when we are dealing with people outside of our circle,” she explained.
This then becomes the show’s dual function, to educate and inform. It’s a way for Stanfield to make a contribution, she says, to the important conversations that need to happen.
It’s a one-woman show, so it features Stanfield playing out the different characters that are important to the story, even though she changes the names to protect the privacy of the people involved. The piece moves from deeply emotional aspects, the “not-so-great” moments, as she explains, to some of the hilarious moments featuring food, family gatherings and everything in between.
The production is titled after food – koe’siestes – a confectionery made of fried dough, which is then covered in syrup or honey with coconut. This food is normally associated with coloured and Afrikaner communities, while kneidlach refers to matzah balls, which are those golden dumplings commonly found swimming in chicken soup. A traditionally Jewish dish.
The name itself shows the transition from living a certain way, to living another way. The stage is minimalistic; it’s just the floor, a leather couch, a white chair and table. These props are moved in specific ways to reflect a new scene.
Stanfield said when they initially put on the show in Joburg, they were nervous about the reception.
“From the get-go myself, my director Megan, and Daphne who produced the show in Joburg, were all nervous about how people would react… I mean here’s this random coloured girl from Cape Town, telling Jewish people that this is a reflection of what I experienced. We kind of expected a bit of a backlash, and it never really happened,” she said.
Stanfield said she was looking forward to the run at the Baxter Theatre because it felt most like home.
“I’m excited. I have been in Joburg for such a long time, so I kind of latch onto any Cape Town coloured person I bump into here. I’ve missed the nuance of Cape Town. I am looking to forward to sharing my experiences with Cape Town audiences. They will know where I’m coming from. A lot of the characters and stories I tell are from Cape Town. While other audiences may appreciate it, they won’t know it,” Stanfield said.
Doing the piece, she said, allows her speak in cadence and rhythm specific to Cape Town.
The show is an hour and 15 minutes long, and not really suitable for children under 16, unless previously arranged with the theatre. It is a fusion of languages such as Gayle, Afrikaans, Afrikaap, Hebrew, and English.
The show runs from December 19 to January 6, at the Baxter Golden Arrow Studio.
Her hope is that people will walk out of the show with an open mind, and having ignited the creative parts of their mind.
“Because it’s such a minimal staging, the words become more important. You as the audience member, are forced to use your imagination. You will see the food on the table, see the aunties ‘skinnering’ about the situation of the coloured girl and the Jewish aunitie. And you will hopefully see someone you know, reflected on the stage,” she said.