If only ministers had the power of the civil servant
NOW THAT we know the names of our new cabinet ministers, the backroom chatter at the Tavern is in full swing and suddenly everybody is a critic and an expert. “Why did Cyril appoint so-and-so instead of such-and-such? “He has a very shaky track record and he didn’t do well as blah blah blah… ”
Endlessly. Before getting worked up about political matters maybe we should take a while to consider why people enter politics in the first place.
Do you believe candidates stand for election because they want to make the world a happier place for everybody? Do they want to devote their lives selflessly to eliminating poverty and crime? Or do they hope that if they toe the party line long enough one day they will drive a big black Mercedes, wear an expensive suit and a Rolex and sit in an impressive office with people bobbing in and out, bring tea and call them “Mr Minister”.
A cabinet minister does not need to be a qualified expert in any field. The minister of the environment does not need to be able to identify alien plants and the minister of agriculture need not be able to distinguish between a Granny Smith and a golden delicious apple. The minister of mines is not required to know how to operate a rock drill.
The real function of a minister seems to be to gather people around him (or her) who actually know what’s going on, and tell them to get on with the job. The real running of a country is done by its civil servants who are, alas, all too often neither civil or interested in serving.
Our lives are seldom touched by cabinet ministers. Hardly a day goes by, however, when we do not come into contact with civil servants. They have the power to make our lives happy or frustrating.
At the flick of a pinky they can push a completed form back across the counter and say, “no, this is the wrong form. You should have filled in the green one”, casually condemning you to another hour of queueing and confusion. “No, you need three recent municipal accounts and a certified copy of your mother’s birth certificate. Next please.”
Cabinet ministers can only dream of such power. You can, theoretically, get rid of bad cabinet ministers by voting their political party out of power. You’re stuck with your bad civil servants forever. I imagine they go home night after night to snigger over their evening glass of vinegar and brag to their wives: “Heh heh heh! I managed to make three old ladies and an army officer burst into tears today”.
It’s not cabinet ministers who really rule our lives.
Last Laugh
A group of scouts were on a hiking trip and one of the lads asked the leader, “How can you tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool?”
“It’s easy,” he said. “You eat one before you go to bed and if you wake up in the morning, it was a mushroom.”