How to get best out of school camp
Separation anxiety a major player when sending your child away, but there are ways you can cope
SMELLY children, filthy clothes, recycled undergarments, snotty noses, bites and stings, cuts and bruises, foul moods, lack of sleep, sludgy macaroni and bed bugs. Is this the pretty picture printed in your cranial canvas when I say the word camp?
Most schools have been sending their children on mandatory camps for decades.
You could say this is part of a scholar’s right of passage. Children’s attitudes towards camp, however differ, tremendously and 99% of parents are in unison in the separation anxiety department. No matter how you, the school or your child feels, camp is obligatory.
Let me start by saying that I am a teacher and a mother of two boys. My eldest is an introvert who is sensitive and soft-hearted and my other, independent extrovert who can’t wait to grab the world by the horns.
I write this piece from three different perspectives, first, to remain impartial and second, because I have lived all three. I am writing from first-hand experience, intensive research and study, and last, because I consider myself to be an honest and fair member of society. I will be covering the following topics:
● Perspectives on camp: school, parent, child
● Dealing with anxiety on camp: school, parent, child
● Repercussions of camp experiences
Perspectives on camp
School: The school adds camp to the curriculum in order to take the learning experience outdoors. Learning is not refined to the four walls of the classroom but rather to practical learning in preparation for life. The school feels that by venturing on a camping experience the children will benefit from the following:
Life skills such as:
● Independence: slowly letting go of co-dependence to parents in preparation for adulthood.
● Overcoming obstacles: preparing children to overcoming hurdles without the protection of their parents who will not always be able to bubbble-wrap them forever and ever amen.
● Building relationships: making long-lasting and meaningful friendships in a neutral environment.
● Team building: finding out each other’s strengths and weaknesses and utilising strengths to problem solve.
● Fitness: most children nowadays are either in front of the television, PlayStation or iPad. This living condition breeds laziness and a sedentary lifestyle breeds poor health. Being in the outdoors takes one back to our childhood where climbing trees, running, walking, hiking and creativity were all we knew.
● Break from screen time and embrace the environment and embrace nature and become mindful.
● Leadership skills: making decisions and executing them.
● Durability: surviving in the wild.
Parent: “Worrying” completes the package. If you aren’t worried you are superhuman or on medication I need the name of pronto. The concerns a parent feels has nothing to do with you, your child or the people you leave your child with, it is our primal instinct kicking in. Fears include:
● Child’s safety: will my child get hurt or harmed in any way?
● Child’s security: will my child be or even feel secure with the camp carers?
● Child’s health: will my child contract any illnesses, be it gastroenteritis, food poisoning, allergic reaction or a cold?
● Child’s emotional well-being: will my child get scared, anxious or homesick?
● Separation anxiety for child and parent (as normal as this is there are varying degrees of it).
● Child’s psychological well-being: will my child get traumatised or will his or her camping experience affect their future in some way.
● Making the correct choice and the guilt that follows: have I enforced this and is it too premature for my child. Will my decisions harm them in the long term? Or from the other side of the coin will keeping them home damage their growth.
● Lack of communication: fearing the unknown.
Child: A child can either be “camp ready” or “ill-equipped” for a leap into the unknown. It depends on the following factors:
● The child’s innate personality type (are they independent and strong-willed? Or dependent and sensitive?)
● Do they have a genetic predisposition to anxiety?
● What is their social-emotional situation (has something recently happened to the child to make them more reticent about camp?)
● Are they indoor or outdoor children?
● School circle: loner or belongs to a group?
Dealing with anxiety on camp and consequences of this:
School: School considers anxiety as a pretty normal emotion to feel when going on camp. According to schools is that even a child who is confident and eager to go on camp could get tearful and homesick. Factors, which contribute to these emotions, are things like tiredness, insomnia, hunger, toilet troubles, discomfort, a disagreement or dislike of food or activities. These are circumstantial and not innate or due to a child’s emotional disposition. The schools are therefore used to dealing with homesick children and helping them persevere without parental contact.
Parent: If your child is the textbook child who is keen but nervous this is normal. Your child will be okay and so will you. If, however, your child has a diagnosed “anxiety disorder”, “post-traumatic stress” or has had emotional trauma recently, it is up to you to fill the school in about this and place your trust in them regarding anything which could potentially affect your child significantly in the future.
How can the school assist the parent and child?
The school could:
● Send updates about the child for parent and child’s peace of mind.
● Send photos to comfort and reassure
● Provide the child with support, counselling and care.
● Provide the child with a crutch from home to make them feel more secure.
● Allow the child to be collected if there is a physically or emotionally related concern (this does not mean if a child gets a scrape or misses mommy he can call home.)
Repercussions of camp experiences
The idea around camp is to cultivate the child in positive way. If this experience is damaged it may have dire consequences to the future development of the child. The school years are the formative years of a child’s life and as a mother and a teacher we want to mould our children into a well-rounded member of society. If a child’s confidence, trust or security is breached, it may take years, if at all, to assist in a child’s recovery and effect the choices they make as adults.
So parents, I’m ending off by saying:
● You are not alone.
● Nothing should be minimalised or brushed off regarding the well-being of your child.
● If you feel overwhelmed, you are being the best parent you can be for the sake of your child.
● Share your concerns, trust your gut and be at peace knowing that a concerned parent is a great parent. You are only a bad parent if you neglect your child.
I hope this will empower you to speak up, equip your child and have peace of mind for future camping experiences.
● Koetser is a remedial therapist, Curro Century City (grades R-9) and Mamas and Papas parenting expert.