Background music is disrespectful

SOMEONE recently asked a great man to list a few of the things he loved most and some of the things he hated most. I was interested to see that, among his most serious dislikes was “soft music”. It seemed rather an odd thing to hate. Personally I dislike music that’s too loud, especially in restaurants and shops, or when it’s blasted out of the speakers of passing taxis, but when I thought about it I understood exactly what he meant.

Music is one of the things that distinguishes humans from other animals. Oh, I realise almost all animals make noises. They bark and bleat and coo and neigh and roar but they have little control over the sounds they make. Doves coo, dogs bark, sheep bleat, but humans have an infinite range of sounds. And when they run out of vocal sounds they create instruments to make different ones.

What’s more, they get together and weave different sounds into the complicated patterns we know as music. Music is a miracle. One person dreams of a unique combination of sounds, gets 100 people together to create that combination and presents it to the world as a symphony or a folk song or a jazz tune or whatever. Each piece of music is different from all the others that have ever been created. Then sometimes we record it and play it back quietly as “background music”.

Background music is not meant to be listened to and that’s what I find rather disrespectful. All that inspiration, and talent and effort in order not to be heard. Are we afraid of the real noises the world makes? Do we fear the sigh of the wind, the crash of surf, the chatter of birds and the barking of neighbourhood dogs? Why do we want to avoid the sounds of cooking and eating in a restaurant?

Music is created to be heard, so we should either listen to it or turn it off if it’s not to our taste.

The rudest thing we can do is to ignore it. That’s exactly what soft “background” music is for – to be ignored. Rudeness like that embarrasses me.

I feel the same about people who leave their television sets switched on all day, with the sound turned off. Not only is it very distracting if you want to have a conversation, but it’s rude to the people who have spent time and effort creating the programmes.

Watch them if you wish, or turn them off. But don’t leave them to hang about, totally ignored like an unwanted guest at a party.

Last Laugh

One St Patrick’s Day a rich man went into a bar, ordered 10 pints of Guinness, lined them up on the counter and said he bet R200 nobody could down them all without pausing. Paddy, who was standing nearby, quietly slipped out of the pub and returned half an hour later, announcing he was ready to accept the challenge.

He calmly polished off all 10 beers without a pause and claimed the prize.

“But where did you go before accepting my challenge? the rich fellow asked.

“I wasn’t sure I could manage 10,” said Paddy, “so I went to the pub next door for a practice round.”