My cats are less expensive to run than my bakkie
IREAD an interesting feature somewhere on the internet, which may, of course, simply have been fake news. I’m told there’s a lot of it going round. However this particular report claimed that car dealerships were headed for extinction as more and more people were choosing to buying vehicles “on line” these days.
I find that quite hard to believe, because the actual sale of a vehicle is just one small part of what car dealerships are all about. Buying a car is rather like buying a dog or cat.
You may feel you’ve done a good deal, but once you install it in your garage – or kennel, or whatever – your financial worries have only just begun.
The pet needs to be taken to the vet regularly for its annual shots and deworming, and vets are not particularly shy about adding noughts to their bills.
Your car dealer probably regards the sale of your car simply as permission to tap into your bank account regularly. Even your first “free” service will cost a few hundred bucks because the labour may be free, of course, but the oil and filters and fan belt and replacement doodle-pin obviously are not included in the concept of “free”.
Then, of course, there’s that little clause in your guarantee that says if you buy your parts anywhere else your vehicle is no longer covered. The engine might explode and two of the wheels fall off, but sorry, chum, you’re on your own now because you bought an air filter from Charlie’s Budget Spares.
Frankly I don’t see much chance of car dealers becoming redundant. Even if you buy your car from www.ChevsRUs using your Smart Shopper points you’ll still find that sneaky little clause telling you the vehicle’s guarantee is not valid unless you take it to an official dealer.
The answer is to buy a used (sorry, “pre-owned”) vehicle and take your chances with a Speedy Sam’s Slick Service Centre for regular oil changes.
Unfortunately there aren’t many freelance cat or dog service centres, so your new pet probably ties you fairly tightly to your local vet. In spite of this, I still find my cats less expensive to run than my bakkie.
I get good mileage in amusement and affection from a couple of bowls of cat food a day.
And now that my garden is a giant sand box I don’t even have to buy cat litter.
Last Laugh
A circus owner advertised for a new lion tamer. Two young people applied for the job. One was a handsome young man and the other was a dropdead gorgeous blonde. “I must warn you,” said the circus boss, “this is one very vicious lion. He ate the last tamer. So who wants to try out first?”
The young woman stepped into the cage and immediately the lion came up, put his huge paws round her neck and began licking her face.
He then crouched down and began purring and licking her ankles.
The circus owner was stunned. He turned to the young man and said: “Could you do that?”
“No problem,” said the lad. “Just get that bloody lion out of there first.”