We should appreciate contribution of whites

I HAVE persuaded a farmer to turn his farm into an ancient paradise. This is meant for people like Jacob Zuma and Julius Malema, who maintain that life was better in South Africa before the white man came.

This will be a holiday experience of a lifetime. Stay for three weeks and feel intellectually and physically refreshed. Be warned, though, this won’t be for the faint-hearted.

No cars, cellphones, clothes, toothbrushes, toothpaste, soap, TVs, radios, etc.

You must come dressed in loincloth or a piece will be given to you.You must walk 5km on the footpath to reach the resort since the wheel was not invented yet. Your only food will be pap en vleis. No wine and cooldrinks either. You must look after the cows and mealies since these are your means of survival.

You must slaughter a cow and just let it lie in a hut for a couple of days since there were no fridges in those days.

The flies will also be living off the carcass and the meat will turn green and black. But not to worry, that’s better than starvation. The mealies must be grounded into a fine powder to be used to cook the pap.

There won’t be any water and the women will have to collect water from the river, a daily routine because there was no gender equality then and women were expected to collect wood and fetch water.

The men’s job will be to tend to the herd and defend the tribe from any enemy which may suddenly appear.

There were no toilets and no toilet paper and people will have to relieve themselves in the bushes. Herbs in the field were used for medicine, with a witchdoctor in attendance for anyone who falls ill.

After your three-week stint, you will appreciate the white man’s contribution instead of reminding him every day how evil he was.