Society knows little about how other half lives

IWAS pleased to read Police Minister Bheki Cele’s announcement that the police are getting on top of the crime situation and we can expect to sleep safe in our beds soon. This is good news. Sadly, though, the euphoria hasn’t reached some areas of the Cape. I am told by my friends on the Cape Flats that the crime situation seems to be worse, in spite of what Mr Cele says.

Fundile, who helps me with the heavy lifting from time to time, was robbed outside his home in Philippi last week for the umpteenth time.

He does odd jobs for several people here in the south, and they all say he is meticulous about phoning when he is unable to get to work.

When he fails to call, they shake their heads sadly, and know another phone has been stolen. He was getting ready to leave for work the other day and when he turned from locking his front door he had a gun held to his head and a voice simply said, “Cellphone. Wallet.”

He points out that one doesn’t argue when there’s a gun pressed to your head, so he handed over his wallet and cellphone, at which point he was sworn at and abused for having such a nasty cheap cellphone. They took it anyway and locked his door and went off with his keys.

The reason for his cheap cellphone is that the better quality phones have been swiped in previous robberies. I asked whether he had reported the incident to the police and he gave me a slightly pitying look. He doesn’t seem to have Mr Cele’s confidence in the local lads in blue.

What is interesting is that these armed robberies are happening all the time and the robbers are not scruffy young ruffians. Apparently they are respectable looking, well-dressed adults who drive large, smart cars.

Several of his neighbours who have been victims of similar heists have been locked inside their houses when the criminals have left with their loot. Obviously this gives the crooks time to drive off in a leisurely way while the victim works our how to break out of his home.

On one occasion the victim was ordered – at gunpoint – to load his own goods into the perpetrators’ vehicle, after which they locked him inside his house and drove off with his keys.

We live in a strange and interesting country and it seems half the population has little idea about how the other half lives. Maybe Mr Cele knows about one of the halves.

Last Laugh

A magazine journalist was instructed to visit a small Karoo town and write a travel feature about the village and its people.

His first stop was the local pub, where he ordered a beer and asked the barman: “Who’s the oldest inhabitant of you town?”

The barman considered the question for a while, then said: “Actually, you came at a bad time.

“We don’t have an oldest inhabitant any more. We used to have an oldest inhabitant, but he died last week.”