Cape Argus

Bugs devour my veggies but leave the weeds alone

- By David Biggs

HERE’S a question for the entomologi­sts among our readers: why do hairy caterpilla­rs ignore all the lush weeds in my garden and concentrat­e on the few straggly plants that I actually planted on purpose? When our long drought came to an end I had virtually no garden to speak of.

The place where my lawn used to be was a giant litter tray for the cats and only a few tough succulents showed any sign of life.

The first rains brought an explosion of life into the garden. Weeds of every shape and size bloomed everywhere. I stumbled about in the mud, planting pumpkins and geraniums and nasturtium­s and some of them actually grew.

A few clivia plants pushed their heads up in surprise and began to grow. Two amaryllis in pots also poked their heads above ground and made an effort.

Then the caterpilla­rs arrived. I’m not talking about six caterpilla­rs here, or even 50 caterpilla­rs.

I’m talking about hundreds and maybe thousands of caterpilla­rs. They enjoy the clivia and chomp on the geraniums. They have cut off the amaryllis flush with the ground and are working their way through the nasturtium­s. But the weeds, those lush, juicy green weeds, they carefully ignore.

I am opposed to chemical garden sprays because I don’t want to add to the world’s toxicity, so I indulge in hand-to-hand combat. Or should I say foot-to-foot battle. I stomp them.

On an average trip from my garage to my front door I stomp at least a dozen of the hairy horrors.

It hasn’t made a huge difference as far as I can tell. They just keep coming.

My cats, who usually take a sadistic delight in tormenting bugs, beetles and locusts, avoid any contact with the hairy invaders. I tried to train them in the art of but they would have nothing to do with them. I don’t know where they come from.

They seem to crawl out from under the garage door or sneak out from behind plant pots. They scale the walls and march boldly across my driveway (well, halfway across if I’m there). I never catch them actually eating my plants, but every day there are more holes in the leaves of everything I’m planting.

But the weeds are untouched. There’s not a single tooth mark on any of my weeds. Maybe I should look up the Latin names for my weeds, so I could point them out to garden-loving guests.

“My are doing particular­ly well this season, don’t you think? And my

is coming along nicely.”

Last Laugh

A man went to his doctor complainin­g that he just didn’t have the energy he used to have.

He was constantly tired and just wanted to sit in the shade doing nothing all day.

The doctor examined him and said there was nothing wrong with him. “In plain English, I think you’re just bone idle.” “Okay, doctor, but apart from plain English, do you have a Latin medical term for it, so I can tell my wife.”

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