Conquering loneliness
LOOKING FOR ELIZA
Leaf Arbuthnot Trapeze
AS THE saying goes: “Growing older is not for sissies”, and so often that goes hand in hand with losing a partner and feeling unmoored, invisible and in limbo. Loneliness looms and with no children or grandchildren for the 70-something Ada in Leaf Arbuthnot’s debut novel Looking for Eliza, this is so much the case. But loneliness is not confined to the elderly – it is a malady of every generation.
Set against the backdrop of the looming Brexit vote and the academia of Oxford, Arbuthnot has written a compellingly warm story of a surprising and rewarding intergenerational friendship. One that lays bare the ties of shared interests, the misunderstandings and the joys of being affirmed whatever your age.
Ada is a lapsed poet of some repute. She lives in a close on the slightly unfashionable side of Oxford. She and her late husband, Michael, professor of Italian literature at Oxford University, lived cosily and contentedly until his untimely death at 75. The house echoes with their collective memories. Michael’s words, his books and the many items bought on their travels together, particularly two intertwined owls made of copper wire by the author Primo Levi, who was a key part of Michael’s work. Except that one owl was lost years ago during their move to Swinburne Road. It is a metaphor for the loneliness that Ada now feels.
“Now the solitude of the little creature on the table seemed starker than ever. It caused Ada such suffering that she learnt to stop looking at it. Her gaze would never pause on the picture frame housing those two cheerful, sunburnt people, or, right in front of the photo, the burnish of the singular copper-wire owl, irredeemably bereft of its partner.”
Across the road, renting the bedroom in a house in the major throes of renovation, lives post graduate student Eliza. With her pink hair and ripped jeans. she is a complex young woman with issues of her own stemming from her working class background. A student of Italian literature, writing her PhD (Philosophy) thesis on Primo Levi, she is a young woman in turmoil; her last relationship with the emotionally abusive Ruby has left deep scars and longings, her family relationships are tenuous; good with Dad, Rich, but estranged from the mostly absent mother, Flora.
As the two protagonists surreptitiously eye each other across the street, Ada’s attempt to start a business, to become more socially active, is the catalyst for their meeting. “Rent A Gran” has some unexpected and hilarious outcomes and over a cup of Lapsang Souchong tea, Eliza and Ada discover tangible similarities, sealing an unexpected bond and bringing with it an interconnectedness that benefits both.
It is a charming and joyous story. Arbuthnot writes with an ease that speaks to her own belief in reaching across the generations towards a richer and more fulfilling life.
She exhibits a tenderness that is warm and forgiving. The two follow the ebbs and flows of good friends, admitting to their own strengths and weaknesses. She understands that “seeing” all generations is vital and while that may be an ageing body, there is most likely a youthful and vibrant spirit itching to be heard.
There is much wisdom in this easily absorbed novel and much that will stay with you. I really enjoyed Arbuthnot’s references to Primo Levi and the tiny owl that spoke of such longing.
The story is not set during the pandemic, but does underline solitary lives and the need to connect. The pandemic has seen neighbourliness emerging, stories shared, caring shown to people to whom we once just nodded and relationships formed between generations. Hopefully that will continue as it is such a vital link in the cycle of life.